entry 34.5

this'll be a teeny entry!!!

but today i went to a jap class dinner today and it was awesome 

and on the way back, i was getting a lift home with snay and sam -- but basically griffo bought us ice cream after dinner we did a total woolies run because griffo had previously thought some ice cream shops were open but none were and yeah

and griffo made me get one [meshiagare my BUTT :( i've indulged myself so much over these holidays... brother come home so we can gym :(((] so i shared it with snay

but in the car home i was just really, really nostalgic and emotional

i was eating my third of the ice cream and looking up at the moon as it was around 8pm

and thinking

"this is what i'll remember"

looking up at the half-moon, and the burst of caramel frostiness on my tongue on the equally chilly night, and some random jazzy tune the sam had put on in the car, as well as my mouth set into a sort of half-grin because griffo reminded me/snay to finish off the booklet he gave us and that he expected it to be done and you know living up to those expectations are so fun -- and then snay and i talked a bit about the things that had happened in class for example one day i was heading out of class and motherhen was walking in front of me and then she stopped and i ran into her and made this squawking sound and i looked around and griffo was just laughing so hysterically and then i started laughing and snay started laughing and it was just like what is happening??

but just those little stories in the day that make everything worthwhile, that make other people into the story-tellers they are today who endeavour to share the wonder

the truth is though

i made up that little tidbit above, when i talked about the half-moon and ice-cream

i can't even really remember the moon if it was half or a crescent, i could look since y'know it was like an hour ago but i can't recall it that well

and just ten minutes or so after eating that ice cream, what replaced it was instead the feeling of my sore sinus as i'm sick and i'd quickly forgotten about the sweetness in place of something more immediate

i'm recording everything here because when i was thinking that, when i realised how quickly those little details slipped from my mind, i thought:

i have to write this down

because those little things float away so easily and there's literally only a year left of school, a year left of this atmosphere, of my beautiful friends who brighten my life with their 'i love you's and griffo as a teacher and friend and role model who has constantly encouraged me and pushed me forward, and little interactions with strangers around the school who fill up all the holes in between

the truth is that i won't remember many of the little details at all in a year, or a few more years

i won't remember a lot of things and that makes me so scared and excited but so scared, because god, do i adore these little details.

anyway....

jesse OUT 

i'm sleepy and need to have a shower, exercise for a bit and do a bit of jap revision

see you! i hope you have an equally heart-warming day

entry 30

THE FORMAL:

i am the asian to the right and my love is on the left

look at these awesome shoes man i'm so happy with them

photo-booth funtimes B)

the formal was held at our school in the citadel and i am/was completely okay with that (i think i preferred it to the beach, where it was supposed to be held)

yeah.

it was actually... amazingly enjoyable. i honestly wasn't sure what to expect at first because it'd probably be just me sitting around while other people danced and i'd just be off to the side with my friends kinda bored, but that judgement was so wrong because dude, dancing was SO FUN like if anyone out there is having a sort of dance/social party thing goin' on, i recommend you to just let your body loose and just bop to the beat, y'feel? it's so fun when you get "lost in the music" sort of thang, and it was just amazing, so many compliments were given and so many were received, this really sweet asian - we can call her mychonny - she said i was beautiful and reminded her of ariana grande and osborne said he liked my dress and disney princess becca just... /shakes head at her it was really nice she told me i danced like a rockstar and she was just adorable and spouting compliments - it was all sorts of nice feelies, the whole couple of hours.

the food was GREAT it was like this sort of... really nicely seasoned chicken??? i swear i've tasted something similar to it before at my own house but i can't say for certain - it was a tangy, sour-ish taste but a beautiful flavour man, and pita bread and tabouleh and salad and a falafel and i still have no idea what the heckiedangle those things are made of so let me just--

Falafel (/fəˈlɑːfəl/; Arabic: فلافل‎, [fæˈlæːfɪl] ( listen)) is a deep-fried ball or patty made from ground chickpeas, fava beans, or both. Falafel is a traditional Middle Eastern food, usually served in a pita, which acts as a pocket, or wrapped in a flatbread known as lafa; "falafel" also frequently refers to a wrapped sandwich that is prepared in this way. The falafel balls are topped with salads, pickled vegetables, hot sauce, and drizzled with tahini-based sauces. Falafel balls may also be eaten alone as a snack or served as part of a meze (appetizers).

Falafel is a common dish eaten throughout the Middle East. The fritters are now found around the world as a replacement for meat and as a form of street food.

praise wiki

nice

it was nice.

the photos before the actual formal was awesome because it was when you first saw everyone and when you walk along with your formal battle-armour on, you feel like a champion BD seriously, you feel great because you were all prettied up for this and it's a nice feeling, dressing up, despite the fact that dress shopping has to be one of satan's favourite hobbies because it sure as hell isn't one of mine more like after i got mine; every dress store i looked at, i looked at them as though they were summoned from the seventh circle of hell (it took me hours to find a dress that i thought i liked and even after buying it, i was just dead inside from having to spend so much time doing that when i could be playing dragon age or something) and i just fled at the sight of every clothes store after that and wanted it over and done with

anyway, the photos

that was when my excitement really picked up because everyone looked so beautiful and it was like yes aWESOME!!! I GET TO SPEND MY TIME WITH ALL THESE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE!!!! IT'S GONNA BE SO FUN

and it WAS really fun, like, god, i would do it again

which i guess may be saying something because i thought i hated dances like this but this dance, this social/formal was so worth everything

and then came the after-party, which began at 11 and ended at 3 - my friends and i only stayed until 12:30

i got the award for most kawaii, and that was interesting

the ride to the after-party was pretty funny

za's mum was dropping us off and we were trying to find the location when we saw these shirtless dudes walking down the street heading towards somewhere and they were going to this house and za's mum was like hm well those boys can't be heading towards the party, i mean they're not part of your year are they

and za was just like ...... ha....ha...,,f, they are....

and we all just kinda looked at each other then and i felt this little tug of apprehension because ????? like okay then

the moment i entered the house there was that smell

alcohol, y'know? it was easy to guess there'd be alcohol but it was already so potent at the start of the party it was, well, not really surprising but yeah. my bro's part of the house (s'hard to explain but his room/computer room/toilet/lounge are located in this part of the house??) often smells like that when he has pre-drinks with his friends - just a note but my friends and i didn't drink anything, promise you that

my friends and i, after hanging around this lil tree that i was standing in front of which kept poking at my pits with its lil branches, headed towards a more secluded area - a garden - to just sit down and kinda maybe brANCH (huehue) off from the rowdy, drunk people who gathered more near the house

a few moments i remember have to do with osborne; we talked a bit near the bushes about the reports we got and stuff and that was cool and i'm kinda sure he was sober?? then we headed to the gardens and he came over with his friends and was like jesse u should mingle and i think i said something along the lines of nah man it's cool not very good at mingling but i also said something like 'too cool to hang with u soz bro' and he was like aw man my respect for u just went down jesse, i thought u were a nice funny chick but now i'm not so sure and i was like soz man i don't know what to say to that and he left and that was interesting but then i turned to my friends and kinda just furrowed my brows and was like, was he drunk?

that was possibly my first interaction with a drunk friend /nods

and then apad (we'll call him that) came over and well SUPER drunk but after a while of cautious conversation on my end, he began talking about how he regretted doing what he did and he asked me to make sure he didn't drink any more but then apologized for the serious talk and i just wanted to really reinforce how much i didn't mind talking to him even if he were drunk, but i'm not sure he got the message

anyway, i was worried for him during the party and once he asked me which way to get out of the gardens was safer - over the fence or up the stairs and we decided the stairs were safer and i offered to escort him up but he said no because he'd probs trip and take me down with him and i was just like... are... are you sure man?? like i really don't mind and he said it's okay and i just kinda pursed my lips and was like well, if you're sure... anyway, i was worried and i honestly really hope he's feeling okay right now and he's not in too much trouble

after that, random people came and went to talk to us / hang around and it was cool because i talked to a few people i never really talked to before

then, when we were leaving, osborne was like oh you guys are leaving? and we were like yeah and he was like oh and high fived me and was like it was fun dancing with u and the cookie and i was like yeah man, it was :D and it was cool

i only wish i remembered to check up on apad and say bye to him, but yeah!

the day was certainly jam-packed and a fascinating experience /nods

year 11 is on its way and iunno if i'm prepared

we'll see /wishes everyone luck in their schooling endeavours

also dragon age inquisition is heart-breaking and fantastic and wonderful and i've romanced cullen but like SOLAS.
 SOLAS.

/DEEP SOBBING

SOLAS U EGG NERD I'M CRYING because his romance is so beautiful whereas cullen is the kinda typical cute kinda one?? but solas is all deep and it's V SAD and V PLOT-TWISTY AND MAN

inquisition is the best

i am a year eleven

have a beautiful day readers!!! i hope a stranger returns ur smile today or like smiles at u in a non-creepy way or like a smile... u smile... i hope u smile lots today :D

-jesse out B)

entry 17

short entry but i was looking back on my older blog posts and...

wow.

i was very... i don't even know the word to describe it.

but lemme tell myself that there's no need to compare myself to 'popular girls' who have 'more fun than me' because don't worry my dear jesse everyone's equal.

i forgot to mention this but when i came back to school on the first day, my friends all exclaimed 'jesse!' and some flocked to me and started patting my hair: jamilla, guy, etc. and that simple thing made me feel appreciated and wanted and loved and that alone is a beautiful feeling that overcomes my silly wishes about myself trying to be 'out there' because i've already made wonderful friends and i shouldn't take that for granted.

but it's okay. it's okay to want to get to know new people, it's just not okay to put myself down for not being able to yet. that's the key word: yet.

it's okay jesse, it's okay.

as katie said, 'your determination will get you places' and here's to hoping it really will.

entry 17, sit up straight and have an amazing day any readers of mine.

entry 15

fullmetal alchemist brotherhood is beautiful. i love the emotions; how the makers are able to invoke those emotions. it's wonderful. the lullaby of resembool has to be my favourite ost because it gives you a bit of nostalgia /from/ the anime and that's a wonderful, precious feeling. also, ling badass mofo yao. he gives me the feels.

so i've been writing recently.

i realise that writing has actually been a passion of mine for a long time - ever since i was 11. looking back on my fanfiction account, i see my old fics and i've read them and they are very shudder worthy but adorably so; i say adorably because it just reminds me that i've improved quite a lot (but there's still much more room for improvement).

i don't really want to do acting any more; that was probably a spur of the moment thing and that tends to happen to me a lot /sigh. i'm doing acting this year and /coughs/ so the people doing it kind of intimidates me but i really have to keep reminding myself that it's a chance to improve, not an opportunity to feel bad about myself.

i've also been singing and testing stuff out on my microphone: output gain is a good thing, so is vocal ambience in reference to classic reverb, delay is a suggestion and eq can be quite good as long as it doesn't make the vocals too... scratchy. that's just a note to self.

i tend to do things in the spur of the moment SO much and when i look back on it i cringe, but... experience huh? /laughs nervously. i'm also a bit naive. i do things and then i get hurt because i put a lot of... enthusiasm? passion? whatever it is - a put a lot into it and then i look back and kind of glimpse how the other people i do things for don't do things for me at all, and i set up this expectation of them and myself and maybe that's why i fail at a lot of things.

ugh. i think i'm going to change youth theatre to something a little more practical (i have creative writing in mind but i'm not sure if it is available)

BUT HEY.

this year i'm into martial arts and writing! /cackles. martial arts will be hella fucking fun, i feel it in my damn bones. this is a promise to myself: no matter what keep your interest because it feels good, that's simply it. not because you have to for other people. just because /you/ want to and you know that it makes you happy. i also really have this urge to get fit because exercising is fun, heh.

so i got my hair cut. my bits are gone and i'm SO SAD. it's like a part of my heart was chopped off.

it went like this:

'okay so where do u want your bangs cut?'
-i gesture to my chest
'oh okay sure'
-hairdresser cuts it all off
my mind: fUCK WHAT IS HAPPEN
'is this okay? :DD'
i nod, shocked and traumatised.

it was very...

i'm....

yeah.

i'm so...

...

yeah.

so i'm also back at school.

i've got a tad bit of homework but eh. i've done all but the maths hw and that's because you're supposed to find a textbook on the school site but i have no idea where it is so i'm gonna ask miss tomorrow. as long as it's done by the end of the year, apparently it's okay.

wish me luck /sigh.

so, y'know... how i was like to canoe dude, that his smile was nice, at the end of the last holidays? did i mention that? y-yeah, i did..

well that, for me, was basically a way of saying 'thanks for being likeable, this is the end' but /coughs apparently feelings don't work that way no matter how much i want it to - on the first day of school he entered and there was that feeling again.

....y'know, that feeling? in your chest that makes your hand raise to it and your eyes kinda soften and it's warm and maybe a bit crushing?

yeah.

i hate it. so much.

it's very ironic because i'm that romantic kind of person but i'm so scared of liking a person and so apprehensive to liking someone. infatuation is a scary-ass thing.

i saw him later that day when school had ended and he was walking towards where i was heading (diagram for u: ---> <----) basically we were gonna collide but not in the collide literal meaning, and i was looking up like normal and i only just realised it was him (my eyesight, 'nuff said) and when he looked up i was like really belatedly 'o..,h' and so i looked away.

but i felt like i wanted to talk to him. why do i feel like that whenever i see him, i wonder? is that a self-explanatory question? i really can't tell and it screws with my brain, but then again i am a very emotional person so it shouldn't surprise me.

but i wanted to talk to him so much.

it's just that his friends greeted him at that time and i felt scared so i didn't.

it's very selfish of me (i think) but i have thoughts that 'if he wants to talk to me he will' but then i remember that isn't there that clique restriction? isn't it just me who thinks of him so much it's a bit unfair? yeah, it is just me so it's my fault in the first place and then i end up sighing deeply (i seem to be doing that a lot lately).

yeah, so anyway, i didn't talk to him though i really wanted to.

i was contemplating about him while in the car with my mum, after that and that's when my mum was like 'heyyyy u okay daughter' and then i felt like i wanted to tell someone, and trust me the options aren't much because i'm a secretive person when it comes to these things, so i told her.

and she was like 'hm.. hey, well at least you didn't have a crush on a guy for six years' and she told me the story of how she had a crush on this dude from high school to university for six years and how she was exchanging letters with him and it just suddenly stopped and not because he died or anything tragic like that, it was just that... it stopped. sad because it's so easy to stop communicating with someone you care about when you're not in actual contact with them.

and she told me that i should use my feelings as inspiration and that really helped me.

but still, it hurts. it's also very scary.

i just... can i not like him? he might be like a really nice dude and all but i'm too shy to go up to him so nothing's ever gonna happen and URGhHHhHHHHHHHH make it stoooop ;a;

anyway.

sorry /sigh.

but i also found that he had an interest in photography and when i found out that i was like are you fucking kidding me.

it just somehow even that seems really wonderful of him??

and he sits behind me in geography. send help. and he's in my science class.

it's too bad because i'm the type to want to act on things, not the type to secretly 'relish' things, but i do relish things i just do it in a different way and in a way that hurts myself because i really believe on acting on things.

i'm just...

sigh.

why do things have to be so complex?

now i'm just a silly school girl fawning over some boy and it's annoying me a hella lot.

i'm very much an idiot.

anyway.

2014 is the year of the japanese excursion, bush school, the year ten formal and the pressure of the rosa.

good luck to me.

this is entry 15: to any readers at all, please have a safe and happy day. smile because you look beautiful when you do (everyone does unless you're smiling as you murder someone so please don't commit murder, it's a bad thing). thanks yo.

entry 10

so my friend confessed to her senpai today.

she's really brave. wonderfully brave. she got rejected, but... i think it's awesome how she went and did that. she's such a cutie. she says that she just wants to get to know him a hella lot more and that's really wonderful so in these short words i'm wishing her amazing luck because if anything, when you fall into the liking trap and come out crawling all battered and broken it's like nOPE COME AT ME MOFO BECAUSE I'M NOT LEAVING WITHOUT A REWARD kind of thing but i guess not all things happen like that. at the very least, i'm really cheering for her. wish her good luck, any invisible readers of mine.

also, i don't think i mentioned that on the monday after that friday when canoe guy did the thing (in reference to the last post), that i was waiting for my teacher to come to class and it was in the hallways and he passed by but when he did we met eyes and he nodded to me and smiled and dear lord that was a really, really nice feeling /deep sigh and i smiled and nodded back and that made my damn day and i am pretty scared of that. i'm scared of the little things that's been making me happy and the little things that make me so insecure and scared it's just--- it's just really... different and scary and i don't like it because, well, canoe guy and shy girl don't mix.

seriously right now i'm so done with this big ball of feels because jfc why is life when people can think about you so much and you wouldn't even know--?

so this stage is called 'puppy love' i'm pretty sure /nodnod. luckily it'll pass and i'll be free yo.

because right now i'm noticing the smallest of things like when he smiles and then bam happiness hits you like a llama spits on you and then he talks to a girl and i guess it's some weird kind of jealousy where it's a sudden reminder that i'm not adequate, kind of thing. teenager insecurities, what can i say? it makes me want to talk to him more and funny because i know the basic outline of his personality but because i do i just imagine ''future'' conversations with the dude and try to start conversations but end up hesitating and it just makes me want to get to know him so much more because he genuinely seems like a good person and a good friend and i just--

/flips table. my imagination is great as a writer but it'll be my downfall as a victim of puppy love.

my friend got me thinking though - if i'd ever confess to this canoe guy and my answer to that is yes because i think, liking someone is such a beautiful thing (loving someone is even more beautiful) and that because i'm such a romantic i would want them to know. a confession of mine would probably be really weird because i'd be fangirling to them about themselves-- yeah.

iunno, at least it'd make their day?

goddayum i have no idea. i just think it's worth the victim of the liking knowing. i just don't want it to get so blown up because these things do and it's pretty stupid.

so in the meantime, i'm... pretty happy with myself because i've been talking to more people. one of my friends, claire, is really awesome. me and her really unite as shy people and that's super spiffy, huehue. i'm glad because we talked about the victims of our life recently and i expressed the what i practically wrote above and how i was done with liking this guy because i say hi and stuff but i'm just pondering about the point, and what she said was that if someone said hi to you often, they'd seem more approachable and i kind of got knocked out of that train of thought because i remembered one of the most awesome quotes of all time 'a simple hello can lead to a million things'. i really feel for her though because she's liked this guy for two years and she confessed to him about two years ago and he rejected her-- but she still liked him and she said she'd confess to him for the final time around this yea. that's really good for her because i think, if she just lets him know then not only would he be awkward but he'd be happy and flattered  - i can bet you he will - but she might be able to get over him no matter how hard that is and she'd be satisfied if she knew that the fact she liked him made his day, because i think it'd make anyone's day, having a cutie confess to you.

sometimes i get these moods where i'm really up myself and just like 'yeah u know what canoe guy, you're lucky i like you' but then i'm like 'okay no you're not because there's probably other popular and beautiful girls out there who like you as well so... yeah my feelings aren't that special probably' /sigh. being a teenager is weird.

i went to the gym on thursday (it's friday today) and then i went to squash with my bro and i was already feeling tired because of basketball on wednesday but then today i went rollerskating and holy crepes everything hurts it's not even funny like my butt feels like it'll combust sometime if i tense it or if i'm trying to take a dump so yeah. life. well i guess it's a good feeling but it's not because y'know how you feel good but exhausted after exercising? well this is like 3x the exhaustion bit.

also, i'm auditioning for the illawarra performing ensemble! it's... gonna be nerve-wracking but i hope i do well. i have to practice. it's on the 15th of december, so yeah, i have some time.

also recently i released a ladybug into the wild and it was gr8 ((so inspirational wow)).

so friends, this is entry 10!

have a wonderful day because everyone deserves a day full of smiles and all that jazz. reminder to sit up straight darlings.

entry 8

so we're moving back to our old seats next monday. /sigh. i also have a test on that day. i'm definitely not looking forward to next week, especially because i have to perform this thing on tuesday in drama. it's about a puppet, a puppeteer and a free doll. it's puntacular yo /snickers.

seriously there's like some lines we thought up saying 'well get your act together' or 'i'll help you, no strings attached' or 'better start russian (because the free doll is russian)' and lots more.

i got back from basketball just then.

it's really the best feeling when you get score a hoop (even though this time i didn't -- but i stole the ball from a girl ahh and it was awesome) and i'm super embarassing because when we score a goal i let out this woop of joy and it's usually really loud and squeaky /hides.

there's my friend kate and she's SUPER GOOD at basketball so she's like my role model huehuehue i have to take tips from her

so after basketball i went shopping with my mum and we went to this section in woolworths where they sell all types of meat and cheese and olives and such and basically you have to get a number to line up (sometimes, if there's not many people there you don't have to) but today my mum was gonna buy some cheese so she just stopped in front of these bunch of people to take a number and she was just standing there for a while and because i was following her i was like to her-

'mUM' and she was like 'yis dearie???'

and i was like 'we're kinda like blocking the way'

and she was like 'wut'

so in this kind of 'so done with u' voice i was like 'we'RE BLOCKING THE WAY'

and she was like 'OH'

BUT THE BOY BEHIND US

THE BOY BEHIND US

I HEARD HIM LAUGH AND IT WAS

it was really cute

made my day
kind of
iunno, making some random laugh
that's darn awesome
the fact he was pretty damn cute was a bonus

also today i did this thing at school, making rice paper rolls. it was fun. i saw canoe guy in the class we were kinda interrupting. i... wanted to say hi to him but i failed like i have been for many days. i feel like i want to talk to him but ugh, i don't know. i feel like...


/sighs.

yeah.

i'm just going to...

/sigh.

this is entry 8. have an awesome day, readers (if there are any).

entry 5

so you know what's totally awesome?!

today at school we had a substitute teacher for maths, and of course the seating plan didn't need to be followed because well, we had a different teacher, but in maths will sat next to me and i kind of just reminded him that he could sit next to his friends but he was like nah i like you and then iunno for a moment i was like ... and then i was like ASDFGHJKLJHGFD FRIEND1!@!# but i didn't really show it but it meant a lot to me even though he was probably just saying that to make me feel better /kicks dirt. so yeah that kinda made my day.

before that however was drama class and we played this game called zip zap zoop and basically it's this small clapping game where zip goes left, zap goes right, and zoop goes across (everyone stands in a circle) and basically y'know that guy who voted for me to be src? yeah well he's in my drama class and in the first few days where i had my moments of braveness, i said hi to him a couple times and that was awesome but nowadays i've just been feeling a little... ugh and iunno, i guess i'm trying to find chances where i can but when i do i hesitate and that chance leaves (when in actuality chances are probably always there and i'm just too much of a butt to do something about it) and well i heard my name (i think) before the start of the game mentioned by him and his group of friends and (let's call him soul, man i am so obvious (but not so obvious to you anon readers)) throughout the game when it came to their turn they zooped it to me and after the third time i kind of just shook my head and rolled my eyes a bit and they laughed and i thought that was kind of cool? like i think they were being friendly. i think. i'm not too well-versed in this kind of stuff but it was interesting so i made a vow to myself to say hi to him on monday (it's friday today).

so i found that pretty cool and kind of a friend-making chance, aha.

today was also subject selections day. it's so weird how a year can pass by so quickly and next thing you know it i'll be in year 12 doing my hsc. creepy.

i asked my friend dylan if he was doing pe4 (mainly dancing) and he was like yeah, i am, semester 1, and i was like YAYY THAT MEANS WE'RE TOGETHER M8 and he laughed and kinda jokingly said haha maybe i should swap classes then and i was like wAHT NO DON'T but yeah that was a cool interaction.

/re-reads and sighs. these small things make me so happy i don't even know why.

so basically for year ten at my school you have to do all the mandatories such as english, science, maths, history, geography, languages (in my instance, japanese) but you also get your final bunch of electives, in this case where i had three electives.

so the ones i wanted to do were

• acting
• youth theatre
• creative writing
• music on the stage, vocal

acting should be self-explanatory, it's a course about acting on the screen and stage and all that. youth theatre is basically making up plays and performing it to little kiddies around your local area (which sounds like TONS OF FUN like holy crap it sounds really amazing), creative writing should also be self-explanatory and music on the stage is basically singing, creating harmonies and at the end doing a massive performance with the class. i don't think i mentioned that i love singing, but yeah, i do. i also love writing.

for youth theatre though, you need to do a pre-requisite course which was either text to performance or theatrestyles. i /really/ wanted to do the acting course though, so i asked the drama teacher if i could just do acting and youth theatre instead of doing the pre-requisite and his answer kind of made me ponder about my future and got me really thinking.

he said; if i'm serious about acting (as in doing it for the hsc) then i should do acting and youth theatre but if i'm not then i should just do text to performance and youth theatre.

i chose acting and youth theatre. but honestly? i'm not too sure if i want to continue it into the hsc. sure, that sounds like amazing fun but what if it turns out i suck at acting and then i'm expected to continue it into the hsc? of course i can always not but, these expectations...

i'll just do my best; i told my brother about this and he said well as long as you do your best you'll probably do well.

so yeah, that's what i'll do.

so that's two spots taken up, what about the last one?

well, i chose music on the stage vocal. singing is wonderful to me - it's like an outlet. but so is writing. i just figured since i already do write fanfiction and i do roleplay on tumblr now (i recently started in the star trek community and it's the greatest thing ever - just-following-orders <3) that i'll be okay. besides my friend took it this semester and promised to give me her book to look over so yeah, that's cool.

weird because today i basically just chose my future and i have no idea how it'll turn out.

i'm gonna have to create a back-up for this blog because i don't want it to suddenly be erased and have all my entries lost.

also, did i tell you about canoe guy? it's a bit embarrassing so for now i'll refrain.

also i started doing basketball and it's amazing holy crepes. I GOT TWO BASKETS FOR THE FIRST TIME TWO DAYS AGO AND IT WAS THE MOST AMAZING FEELING EVER.

thanks for reading guys! halloween is coming up real soon so i really hope you guys have wonderful ones, if you celebrate it. 

comment if you have any thoughts about this, i'd be delighted to hear any, really. i know some of you read this, or maybe it's just the statistic thingy screwing up.

bye cuties! reminder to sit up straight and have a good day. c: