it's 9:57am and i will start studying in half an hour! promise!
so it's been quite some time! i think it's very interesting to see how i've begun making entries less and less while becoming more and more preoccupied with life and the interesting/amazing/sometimes stressful things that are going, such as the HSC, i've literally only made one previous entry this year and that's crazy!
firstly... let me just list a bunch of things that i should talk about in terms of where my current mental state + ambitions are at --
1 > family
2 > dreams for life // views on studying? university? the changes to come?
3 > school life
4 > poetry
5 > little goals that may or may not be achieved
---
ok idk when I started that draft but let's see if I can continue where I left out lolol it's 2:38pm right now and the date is hopefully the date I will publish this draft on :)))
my buddy, how life has changed.
firstly, this leads into #4 listed up there but I did eng ext 2 as part of my HSC course (which now I can legit say it is OVER and I made it through and everyone else who did should feel proud of themselves and give themselves a good, wholesome rest!), and my major work was a suite of poems. i'm not sure if I wrote about this in a past entry but those poems were detailing the actions of those around me and how they impacted on the person I am today. if I can still recall correctly there were 5 poems, centring on family, friends, my brother, my teacher and myself. i'd kind of like to post the poems here but they're really long! but anyway the first was the heaviest because it was a mixture of my feelings at the time of the previous blog posts about the whole situation with my parents and their impact on me. but as such, everything passes and it's only natural that you either come to terms with experiences or at least learn things from them and I think i'm able to say that I've done both, perhaps.
my conclusions from the past entries have been this:
1. it's not like I've forgiven my dad for the things he did. I don't respect what he did nor how he fails to apologise for it. but I respect him because a lot of my opportunities and pleasures in life could have been lost if he had decided to leave my mum and my brother back when I wasn't yet born. because of my dad I've been able to make memories I wouldn't have, I have been able to go to places and do things I wouldn't have been able to do without his support. and unlike the figure I portray in the poetry with a "mouth cured by salt", the lone fisherman that spends too much time on a screen rather than addressing those real life issues-- dad is unmistakably human and although mistakes hurt, people can still heal and people can come to make do with what their circumstances have given them. I kind of feel like I'm rambling but my main point is, is that if I had a longer time period to finish that suite of poems the first poem about family would not be ending with this:
"By now the pain is long gone,
and so is that daughter.
She has grown different now,
though she used to be mine,
and by extension yours,
she is different now.
No longer a princess,
still spoiled a lot,
but with a sword in her hand
she knows what she's got.
And what she doesn't."
Or maybe it would end the same, at least with that conclusive tone. But I think the portrayal of the people in that poem would be different and more fleshed out. It's weird, y'know? For all the struggles and moments of spite, I love all of my family pretty much beyond words. I find it very easy to communicate my affection for my friends, SO easily, because I know that we only have a limited time together, but I find that with my family it can be so hard for some reason. I think it's probably because there is that part of my that takes them for granted and therefore it's very easy to see all the faults in one another. But I guess, thanks to my dream of wanting to go to Japan and all the experiences I've had this year with realisations of impermanence, I want to say that I've become more perceptive to the things that I should be grateful towards. I actually really love my mum and dad and seeing them happy makes me so happy I could cry (i'm a crybaby after all). It's because I know how hard they work to support me and I know I'm asking a lot from them and that I'm really lucky to be living like I am. I really treasure seeing them happy, so it kind of hurts me to think that in my journey towards achieving my dream, I am impacting on them and how they can live in the future. I want to be able to provide for myself, so I am hoping to get a job very soon (since it's the end of HSC).
To give more info, I got a 65% scholarship to go study in Japan next year and that's always been my dream. 65% because it's a tuition reduction scholarship covering the years I'll be studying there e.g 4, and while obviously the higher the better, it's actually fair enough considering how I am from a developed country and that's honestly quite a bit of money anyway to be reduced from all the fees. btw sorry if my writing is weird and there's caps and suddenly no caps and no grammar, it's because I usually write without proper grammar usage but i'm on my laptop so it automatically corrects things lol.
ANYWAY TO QUICKLY SUM UP EVERYTHING I WANTED TO GO THRU W/ #1 on the list: only recently it's struck me how important family can be. actually i'll tell u an anecdote. so basically the other day I was making pork floss with my dad because he was like 'u should see how much time this takes' and I was like 'well ok I'm finished with exams now so I can help :D' and so my eyes were opened actually to how much effort and time it took! and you know, I've always found it hard to talk with my dad. or I guess not really hard so to say but I never really made much of an effort to talk to him much because I was always afraid it would spiral into the direction of him saying something i'd disagree with and then both of us ending up in a bad mood. but the other day I asked him about his childhood because i'd heard from mum that his family used to own a restaurant. so dad told me about his father and how his father owned a restaurant but died due to a mosquito bite when dad was really young, and so his mum and the rest of his siblings had to work really hard in order to make money. so his mum made pork floss often and dad helped and they sold food to make a living. it makes sense because pork floss is dried meat and essentially should last for a long time.
you know a similar story is my mum's childhood. mum sometimes gets into a nostalgic mood and ends up telling me stories and she told me about how living in poverty was for her as a kid with her family, and how her mother often went around to the neighbours to ask for rice but the neighbours shut them out because they had to think about their own families. she told me how her mother used to buy one fish and they had to share it between I think 6 kids? and how more often than not they simply ate rice with diluted coffee to flavour it.
it struck me how different lives can be, how really, really different they can be. and although there's the saying money can't buy happiness, it really can. it's SO important in this world, so SO important in giving opportunities and paving way for happiness. but also, it's because money is so important that we should savour the things we already have such as the people around us.
so yeah. sum of point #1 is i'm grateful for family and I really want to be able to give back to my parents when I have a job later on in life. I want them to experience the beauty of japan as I have. I want to do them proud.
as for #2 I feel like I don't have much to say on that right now except now that I've gotten the scholarship I have a basis to work off for paying for the rest of the fees such as living costs/the 35% tuition/etc. and that there's a lot of prep to do in order to officially enrol such as submitting heaps of documents and getting a student visa and all and honestly that process is so intimidating haha I admittedly lost sleep last night thinking about it and how i'm scared and anxious about the things that could go wrong such as missing deadlines and ending up losing the scholarship. i'm scared to be happy because I still need to take steps in order to ensure that the dream that is so close can fully be achieved. so i'll save my happiness for the day I meet the deadlines. that means i'll make another post in February 2017 which is the last deadline for document submission/enrolment fees. wish me luck? haha
#3 (school life) has ended,,, uhh not much to say about that too except I know i'll miss high school. and thank you for the memories.
#4!!! so I've gotten into poetry thanks to ext eng 2!!! :D I think it's been quite an eye opener to me as a person and to the things I like about other people and random things in life. well firstly i feel things so intensely lol and i like to be able to write about the feelings i get from my experiences because it sort of immortalises that in writing and acts as a reminder. i love that. i also like other people who can feel things intensely, as in, people who are passionate. i love people who can find such beauty in small things. i love people who get lost talking about the things they love. it's so beautiful to feel things intensely and to be passionate. yeah! so sometimes when i'm listening to Claire play the piano or just meditating at home or just listening to music or just day to day things, i get into this poetry mood and it feels really good when that happens. i don't know how to explain 'good' but maybe one day i'll write a poem about that :) I've been compiling docs of draft poems so maybe when i refine some of them or maybe if i just get the time, i'll post them on here :) :D
aaaand as for #5... i have a lot of little goals !!!!
long term is:
> get REALLY fit and get good at dancing
> get good at cooking and compile a recipe book of home recipes to bring to japan
> learn the ukulele/practice
> learn how to do make-up!
> keep learning Japanese
> learn korean
short term is:
- get a mini telescope for STAR GAZING !!!!!! !!!!
- get more clothes if possible??
- do vlogging!!! get a camera in time for japan!!
and i may add to these goals over time!! :D
so yeah!!!
here is my update which also signals the end of high school and the beginning of my future and awesome things (i hope).
as always, thank you for reading :D it's weird to look back on all my past entries and i'm fearful that i will one day and that everything will be cringe worthy lol but at least know that i won't change a thing about them lol,,,
stay safe, healthy and happy readers :DD <3
- jesse
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Tuesday, 1 November 2016
Tuesday, 17 March 2015
entry 31
久しぶりだな。。。〜
How long has it been?
4 months perhaps?
I reckon a lot has happened in that time. I've become a lot more concrete in my goals for the future, I think, and I've definitely been inspired to do my very best in school work because I guess I've realised that you get what you put in and what I'm doing right now is for my own sake, for the future. The future is a prospect I'm so starry-eyed about but I know sometimes I won't be. If, perhaps, my vision becomes clouded in such a way then I want to say to future!Jesse that everyone will always have potential and the world really is your oyster.
Like, in Haikyuu [AN ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL ANIME DUDES, seriously, Nishinoya is my absolute BAE - どうぞ-], as that somewhat important side-coach says to Kageyama and Hinata after their loss in the final match:
"Does losing prove that you're weak?
Isn't losing difficult for everyone?
...A challenge where, after ending up on your hands and knees, you must see if you can stand up again?
PARAPHRASING; isn't it only if you stay on your hands and knees proof that you are weak?"
つもり、get back up yo. The world may be your oyster but it ain't gonna wait. :D Take things into your own hand.
And so here comes another important point I want to make that got me back on my feet after a challenge I had to accept, when I first went back to Japanese at the start of the year. Btw it's week 8 currently and exam week is next week, so time really has been going by fast.
"If you love it so much, learn it well."
If people have watched Haikyuu, like, if, among my readers who aren't any of my friends, have watched Haikyuu - they should know about the situation with Kageyama and Oikawa.
I felt like Oikawa; that suddenly a genius like Kageyama had come along and at that time I'd thought thoughts like "How can I compete against that?"
Like, no.
So this'll get personal, but s'not as if it really hasn't before right?
So this brilliant girl (and I really mean that because her hard-working spirit is evident and so is her passion) was accelerated to the subject I always... entitled myself to. I don't think entitled is the right word. It's just that, before that, I've always thought things like: "Japanese is all I have, it's all I can do good at, therefore it is mine [my subject] to do good at." But why 'mine'? What does that even mean?
I think that loving something is scary. Being passionate about something is scary. There will always also be scary competition and the first step into getting over the fear of competition, I think, is admitting that those competitors are just as passionate as you. If you love a subject, you should want to do well in it > you /want/ to study it, to indulge in it, you feel like it is a huge source of gratification for yourself. This is definitely not a bad thing, not at all. In fact, it's a really good thing - to have enough passion for a subject to have the determination to do well in it.
But it's like, when you love something that much, for me: I want to do my very best in it. Therefore, I want to be the best at it. Do you think that notion is a bit selfish? Selfish may be defined differently in your sense, compare to what i'm referring to, but regardless, I know I'm a very selfish person so in light of competition I don't have much of a problem admitting that I want to 'win'.
Anyway, when I found out that she'd been accelerated and that her accent was magnificent and she obviously knew a lot about her stuff, I kind of got angry at myself for not knowing as much as her. How did I know I didn't know as much as her? Dunno - was that the truth or was I just challenging myself because I saw her as a 'threat' at first? It just struck me that she was very formidable and I wanted to be just as > more.
So I actually went to the teacher, and I was probably being so blunt but I asked him:
Why is she so good? Is it because she works really hard?
And maybe in that question I kinda said [I work hard too, why am I not better?]
SEE how self-orientated that is? Not sure if that is the word - but see how kind of icky that is?? It makes me feel icky just looking at it!
And when I asked him that, I think I nearly cried because everything came at once:
I accepted that she was really good, if not better.
Sir looked at me and said, gently, something along the lines of: "Well, firstly, she's half Korean and Korean is very similar to Japanese in terms of structure. But she also loves it a lot."
I compared myself to her; I just, just loved Japanese so much that I guess it was hard for me to comprehend the fact that someone might "love" it more but how can you really measure love?
And then he said, "But I know you love it as well, which is why you're good at it."
And so I asked, "How do I get better?"
And then we talked about sakubun (writing pieces) and I've been going to him for advice a lot and he told me that I was always welcome to do extra homework and so that's what I've been doing and it doesn't feel like homework to me, it's just fun and I really, really like doing it. I mean, it's for me. I want to be better, and I think it's fair for me to say that my Japanese teachers are key factors in making me want to be more. Y'know, just, more. I'm so speechlessly grateful for the time they take out of their day to encourage and do things for their students, it just astounds me and this is where my 1AM Reflection comes in (I wrote it on my ipod). It's all I can say and I'll copy it down here, but Mr G. especially has been nothing less than a role model and more than pretty much the best teacher I've ever had hands down. Who else would deal with a girl who asks too many questions???
Here:
1AM Reflection
I don't want to say something like "Japanese is the only subject I have/the only thing I'm good at." (I'm hesitant to use the term 'good' because honestly I still don't know everything about the English language; how can I dare to think I even know a lot about Japanese? The best thing to do is probably just understand what I know and what I don't know.)
Basically, on one hand, this is because I think what you're 'good' at is really just determined by your attitude towards it and how you approach it - I don't think, that by ourselves, we can measure what our best is. I believe there is so much potential in all of us, so much that in fact it becomes immeasurable. On the other hand, I feel like a lot of other people view Japanese or a subject in general as something only they 'have'. In the end, isn't it a matter of if your efforts gratify you or not? It makes you feel worthy because of the effort you put in and that's why you stick to it so much - which reinforces my point that 'goodness' is simply determined by your determination to do well.
I try hard because, well, yeah, I get happy if I'm considered 'good' at it. If I'm validated in my efforts. I like putting in the effort to achieve that gratification, but I'm also really in love with the language. This is said as a fact because I honestly believe I would not put so much of myself into it otherwise. Imagining all the people I'll be able to talk to; the culture which will open up to me, which I'll be able to explore...
I'm so grateful to those teachers who have helped me and taught me and I think I might be a little in love with them too, because they're both people I want to be when I'm an adult. They make me want to become a better person.
Also, storytellers are the best kind of people. I feel like they are the people who have just gotten so much out of life - and surely they'll get more - that they can't help but let those words touch other people: y'know, to achieve that and have that kind of special glint in your eyes when you tell your stories, that's something really wonderful. And the ability to inspire people - that's just crazy.
The highest praise and comment I can give is that I just want to be like them when I'm older.
----
and then it ended there because I was sleepy.
there was this one point also, when jap first started, there was this joke that my friend kept on making about us two being the "alpha"s and i was really uncomfortable because of that and i was just kinda hoping she'd stop making the joke until one day she said it and it was just really loud and my other friend looked at us in a kind of "ummm" way and said, "really guys?" and i kind of immediately was just like wait no!! no!!!!! it wasn't me who said it, i don't think i'm an 'alpha' like EVERYONE is trying really hard and it just like
well, i got angry at jam and i made it obvious that i didn't like the joke and felt like it was just really not good.. spirit?? you feel
anyway it was all good
i apologised after because i shouldn't have been so harsh and the angel just replied with, no it's okay, it's refreshing to see you angry.
i'm happy that we didn't have much of a big fight!
ANYWAY, i might continue this another day but I wanted to speak about another topic today ;;
yes it is time for my teenage shoujo life to come into play again /cough cough hahahhaa...a.a.. shoujo.....
but anyway,
ah,
the heart of a teenage girl.
so if i haven't established that i'm completely over canoe guy, then well, here it is. this is the sentence. take in in.
yep.
well, i am.
and do you remember jude?
not lady bug guy, or fish or ace or anyone else i may've nicknamed....
but yeah, that guy i called pretty in the spur of the moment when i was in that stage of "if u think anything nice you absolutely HAVE to say it HANDS DOWN, HANDS DOWN. HANDS. DOWN U GOT THAT PUNK??? NEED TO SAY IT NWEEDEENEDABAOSLUTELYNEEDEOTHERWISEHTEYWON'TFEELURFEELING--"
well
in that youngin' stage of mine (though i still hold to that belief very well and perhaps should apply it more often) - well, yeah. i guess i've always been kinda conscious of him because he was v. aesthetically pleasing and in that manner i'm shallow, but i'd always just kinda appreciated from afar because of the strong belief that 'wow i am a shy girl/he is popular=i am awkward, things like this will never end well' and y'know i'm still like that and it's just kind of hard to believe that relationships will be possible because i always work myself up too much, y'know, that whole thing with impulses /nods.
wow, just had a thought: isn't this SUCH a weird thing to be talking about after that whole seriousness of the above section? hehe ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
well, i'll just scale things up to today (there's really only one thing that happened on that life-changing japanese trip that i can't believe i haven't written about yet.... but there's just... so much...... hey maybe my not writing it can be seen as how i'm just that speechless about what an experience it was........) -
there was this one time in japan where i was wearing my senpai (jam)'s hatsune miku hat and jude was on the trip as well and was like omg jesse is that hatsune miku and i looked at him and grinned and was like yeah it is! and was secretly pleasantly surprised he even knew what hatsune miku was???
anyway it was a nice, fleeting interaction and it's always those ones that make my day and always stick with me
today, for eng ext, i had to present with two friends let's call one buddy (because i used to talk to him about games and stuff when i was young...........) and the other jasmine because she's like princess jasmine from aladdin, she's really pretty!!
well our presentation was about psychoanalytical criticism
and at first i had a plan to make people laugh with this lil skit about freudan slips and it worked except i entered that rambling stage and was like "so yeah if i were a guy-- wait no, okay if i were a girl-- wait no i am a girl nevermind" and people laughed and i'm glad they laughed at my stumblings, but anyway, it came to my points about freud and how he was sexist and coined dubious things like "penis envy/oedipus complex/castration anxiety" and i kinda was like hmmm i don't feel comfortable saying the p word i mean like y'know so i just said peepee and passed it off as that and everyone began laughing and sir bro (teacher's name is that btw so i'll call him that) was like i don't know why you're fine with saying oedipus complex and castration anxiety but not peepee envy" and then i was like nah well if u wanna say it its fine and then he was like yeah okay tru and began talking to the class about how they should be mature about terms like the p word and how that shouldn't have laughed at my 'peepee' term and THEN he began naming like a bunch of genital uh parts and the class was just like omfg and i was just like omg sir and just turned away and was like i can't believe this like really uncomfortably and it was just really funny
anyway, after i did my explanation, i also had to mention that a feminist called Karen Horney challenged Freud's view and it was all going so well until buddy laughed and then everyone else laughed and me and sir bro were just like i can't believe this but also it was very amusing
anyway
squizz (i think i mentioned her before, she's a fellow src member and friend :D) commented how the "peepee" thing was the highlight of her day which was rly cute and i was like ;; i'm glad it made u laugh
squizz is the type of person who's like the sun, y'know? i think i've talked about people being like suns before but she's the type of person who inspires you to be little bit more; the type of person you're glad exists because they're the types who bother to do little things that make you happy? such as compliments on random days and wide smiles and iunno she spreads laughter like wildfire
anyway, when i was in sac, she was like jesse i have something to tell u
and i was like ???? go ahead
and she was like it's not big or anything
and i was like haha go ahead man
and she said something along the lines of: (i may be paraphrasing???) okay well when i was laughing and stuff like everyone was laughing but i was looking at jude and he was laughing at everything you said and i just thought how cute you two would be together
and i kinda was like o...oh
because y'know?? maybe i thought about....... oh man this is so embarassing, but it's like u know, you ever think about something along the lines like "if we got together" and hhhh wow
look at me and my deep dark romantic side coming to the surface
actually no one's ever really said that to me before so it surprised me as well, aha, and i guess it made me happy? y'know, i guess it was something like wow someone thinks i can be in a relationship with someone else??
ugh is this a weirdly self-depricating train of thought??
i don't mean to put myself down but i don't really view it as putting myself down because that's how i've been thinking
yeah
odd right
anyway
what's scary is that, well, hey TIME FOR MORE HARD TO FOLLOW COPY PASTE FACEBOOK CHATS:
also wow hey i'll be creating a new tag for jude
How long has it been?
4 months perhaps?
I reckon a lot has happened in that time. I've become a lot more concrete in my goals for the future, I think, and I've definitely been inspired to do my very best in school work because I guess I've realised that you get what you put in and what I'm doing right now is for my own sake, for the future. The future is a prospect I'm so starry-eyed about but I know sometimes I won't be. If, perhaps, my vision becomes clouded in such a way then I want to say to future!Jesse that everyone will always have potential and the world really is your oyster.
Like, in Haikyuu [AN ABSOLUTELY BEAUTIFUL ANIME DUDES, seriously, Nishinoya is my absolute BAE - どうぞ-], as that somewhat important side-coach says to Kageyama and Hinata after their loss in the final match:
"Does losing prove that you're weak?
Isn't losing difficult for everyone?
...A challenge where, after ending up on your hands and knees, you must see if you can stand up again?
PARAPHRASING; isn't it only if you stay on your hands and knees proof that you are weak?"
つもり、get back up yo. The world may be your oyster but it ain't gonna wait. :D Take things into your own hand.
And so here comes another important point I want to make that got me back on my feet after a challenge I had to accept, when I first went back to Japanese at the start of the year. Btw it's week 8 currently and exam week is next week, so time really has been going by fast.
"If you love it so much, learn it well."
If people have watched Haikyuu, like, if, among my readers who aren't any of my friends, have watched Haikyuu - they should know about the situation with Kageyama and Oikawa.
I felt like Oikawa; that suddenly a genius like Kageyama had come along and at that time I'd thought thoughts like "How can I compete against that?"
Like, no.
So this'll get personal, but s'not as if it really hasn't before right?
So this brilliant girl (and I really mean that because her hard-working spirit is evident and so is her passion) was accelerated to the subject I always... entitled myself to. I don't think entitled is the right word. It's just that, before that, I've always thought things like: "Japanese is all I have, it's all I can do good at, therefore it is mine [my subject] to do good at." But why 'mine'? What does that even mean?
I think that loving something is scary. Being passionate about something is scary. There will always also be scary competition and the first step into getting over the fear of competition, I think, is admitting that those competitors are just as passionate as you. If you love a subject, you should want to do well in it > you /want/ to study it, to indulge in it, you feel like it is a huge source of gratification for yourself. This is definitely not a bad thing, not at all. In fact, it's a really good thing - to have enough passion for a subject to have the determination to do well in it.
But it's like, when you love something that much, for me: I want to do my very best in it. Therefore, I want to be the best at it. Do you think that notion is a bit selfish? Selfish may be defined differently in your sense, compare to what i'm referring to, but regardless, I know I'm a very selfish person so in light of competition I don't have much of a problem admitting that I want to 'win'.
Anyway, when I found out that she'd been accelerated and that her accent was magnificent and she obviously knew a lot about her stuff, I kind of got angry at myself for not knowing as much as her. How did I know I didn't know as much as her? Dunno - was that the truth or was I just challenging myself because I saw her as a 'threat' at first? It just struck me that she was very formidable and I wanted to be just as > more.
So I actually went to the teacher, and I was probably being so blunt but I asked him:
Why is she so good? Is it because she works really hard?
And maybe in that question I kinda said [I work hard too, why am I not better?]
SEE how self-orientated that is? Not sure if that is the word - but see how kind of icky that is?? It makes me feel icky just looking at it!
And when I asked him that, I think I nearly cried because everything came at once:
I accepted that she was really good, if not better.
Sir looked at me and said, gently, something along the lines of: "Well, firstly, she's half Korean and Korean is very similar to Japanese in terms of structure. But she also loves it a lot."
I compared myself to her; I just, just loved Japanese so much that I guess it was hard for me to comprehend the fact that someone might "love" it more but how can you really measure love?
And then he said, "But I know you love it as well, which is why you're good at it."
And so I asked, "How do I get better?"
And then we talked about sakubun (writing pieces) and I've been going to him for advice a lot and he told me that I was always welcome to do extra homework and so that's what I've been doing and it doesn't feel like homework to me, it's just fun and I really, really like doing it. I mean, it's for me. I want to be better, and I think it's fair for me to say that my Japanese teachers are key factors in making me want to be more. Y'know, just, more. I'm so speechlessly grateful for the time they take out of their day to encourage and do things for their students, it just astounds me and this is where my 1AM Reflection comes in (I wrote it on my ipod). It's all I can say and I'll copy it down here, but Mr G. especially has been nothing less than a role model and more than pretty much the best teacher I've ever had hands down. Who else would deal with a girl who asks too many questions???
Here:
1AM Reflection
I don't want to say something like "Japanese is the only subject I have/the only thing I'm good at." (I'm hesitant to use the term 'good' because honestly I still don't know everything about the English language; how can I dare to think I even know a lot about Japanese? The best thing to do is probably just understand what I know and what I don't know.)
Basically, on one hand, this is because I think what you're 'good' at is really just determined by your attitude towards it and how you approach it - I don't think, that by ourselves, we can measure what our best is. I believe there is so much potential in all of us, so much that in fact it becomes immeasurable. On the other hand, I feel like a lot of other people view Japanese or a subject in general as something only they 'have'. In the end, isn't it a matter of if your efforts gratify you or not? It makes you feel worthy because of the effort you put in and that's why you stick to it so much - which reinforces my point that 'goodness' is simply determined by your determination to do well.
I try hard because, well, yeah, I get happy if I'm considered 'good' at it. If I'm validated in my efforts. I like putting in the effort to achieve that gratification, but I'm also really in love with the language. This is said as a fact because I honestly believe I would not put so much of myself into it otherwise. Imagining all the people I'll be able to talk to; the culture which will open up to me, which I'll be able to explore...
I'm so grateful to those teachers who have helped me and taught me and I think I might be a little in love with them too, because they're both people I want to be when I'm an adult. They make me want to become a better person.
Also, storytellers are the best kind of people. I feel like they are the people who have just gotten so much out of life - and surely they'll get more - that they can't help but let those words touch other people: y'know, to achieve that and have that kind of special glint in your eyes when you tell your stories, that's something really wonderful. And the ability to inspire people - that's just crazy.
The highest praise and comment I can give is that I just want to be like them when I'm older.
----
and then it ended there because I was sleepy.
there was this one point also, when jap first started, there was this joke that my friend kept on making about us two being the "alpha"s and i was really uncomfortable because of that and i was just kinda hoping she'd stop making the joke until one day she said it and it was just really loud and my other friend looked at us in a kind of "ummm" way and said, "really guys?" and i kind of immediately was just like wait no!! no!!!!! it wasn't me who said it, i don't think i'm an 'alpha' like EVERYONE is trying really hard and it just like
well, i got angry at jam and i made it obvious that i didn't like the joke and felt like it was just really not good.. spirit?? you feel
anyway it was all good
i apologised after because i shouldn't have been so harsh and the angel just replied with, no it's okay, it's refreshing to see you angry.
i'm happy that we didn't have much of a big fight!
ANYWAY, i might continue this another day but I wanted to speak about another topic today ;;
yes it is time for my teenage shoujo life to come into play again /cough cough hahahhaa...a.a.. shoujo.....
but anyway,
ah,
the heart of a teenage girl.
so if i haven't established that i'm completely over canoe guy, then well, here it is. this is the sentence. take in in.
yep.
well, i am.
and do you remember jude?
not lady bug guy, or fish or ace or anyone else i may've nicknamed....
but yeah, that guy i called pretty in the spur of the moment when i was in that stage of "if u think anything nice you absolutely HAVE to say it HANDS DOWN, HANDS DOWN. HANDS. DOWN U GOT THAT PUNK??? NEED TO SAY IT NWEEDEENEDABAOSLUTELYNEEDEOTHERWISEHTEYWON'TFEELURFEELING--"
well
in that youngin' stage of mine (though i still hold to that belief very well and perhaps should apply it more often) - well, yeah. i guess i've always been kinda conscious of him because he was v. aesthetically pleasing and in that manner i'm shallow, but i'd always just kinda appreciated from afar because of the strong belief that 'wow i am a shy girl/he is popular=i am awkward, things like this will never end well' and y'know i'm still like that and it's just kind of hard to believe that relationships will be possible because i always work myself up too much, y'know, that whole thing with impulses /nods.
wow, just had a thought: isn't this SUCH a weird thing to be talking about after that whole seriousness of the above section? hehe ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
well, i'll just scale things up to today (there's really only one thing that happened on that life-changing japanese trip that i can't believe i haven't written about yet.... but there's just... so much...... hey maybe my not writing it can be seen as how i'm just that speechless about what an experience it was........) -
there was this one time in japan where i was wearing my senpai (jam)'s hatsune miku hat and jude was on the trip as well and was like omg jesse is that hatsune miku and i looked at him and grinned and was like yeah it is! and was secretly pleasantly surprised he even knew what hatsune miku was???
anyway it was a nice, fleeting interaction and it's always those ones that make my day and always stick with me
today, for eng ext, i had to present with two friends let's call one buddy (because i used to talk to him about games and stuff when i was young...........) and the other jasmine because she's like princess jasmine from aladdin, she's really pretty!!
well our presentation was about psychoanalytical criticism
and at first i had a plan to make people laugh with this lil skit about freudan slips and it worked except i entered that rambling stage and was like "so yeah if i were a guy-- wait no, okay if i were a girl-- wait no i am a girl nevermind" and people laughed and i'm glad they laughed at my stumblings, but anyway, it came to my points about freud and how he was sexist and coined dubious things like "penis envy/oedipus complex/castration anxiety" and i kinda was like hmmm i don't feel comfortable saying the p word i mean like y'know so i just said peepee and passed it off as that and everyone began laughing and sir bro (teacher's name is that btw so i'll call him that) was like i don't know why you're fine with saying oedipus complex and castration anxiety but not peepee envy" and then i was like nah well if u wanna say it its fine and then he was like yeah okay tru and began talking to the class about how they should be mature about terms like the p word and how that shouldn't have laughed at my 'peepee' term and THEN he began naming like a bunch of genital uh parts and the class was just like omfg and i was just like omg sir and just turned away and was like i can't believe this like really uncomfortably and it was just really funny
anyway, after i did my explanation, i also had to mention that a feminist called Karen Horney challenged Freud's view and it was all going so well until buddy laughed and then everyone else laughed and me and sir bro were just like i can't believe this but also it was very amusing
anyway
squizz (i think i mentioned her before, she's a fellow src member and friend :D) commented how the "peepee" thing was the highlight of her day which was rly cute and i was like ;; i'm glad it made u laugh
squizz is the type of person who's like the sun, y'know? i think i've talked about people being like suns before but she's the type of person who inspires you to be little bit more; the type of person you're glad exists because they're the types who bother to do little things that make you happy? such as compliments on random days and wide smiles and iunno she spreads laughter like wildfire
anyway, when i was in sac, she was like jesse i have something to tell u
and i was like ???? go ahead
and she was like it's not big or anything
and i was like haha go ahead man
and she said something along the lines of: (i may be paraphrasing???) okay well when i was laughing and stuff like everyone was laughing but i was looking at jude and he was laughing at everything you said and i just thought how cute you two would be together
and i kinda was like o...oh
because y'know?? maybe i thought about....... oh man this is so embarassing, but it's like u know, you ever think about something along the lines like "if we got together" and hhhh wow
look at me and my deep dark romantic side coming to the surface
actually no one's ever really said that to me before so it surprised me as well, aha, and i guess it made me happy? y'know, i guess it was something like wow someone thinks i can be in a relationship with someone else??
ugh is this a weirdly self-depricating train of thought??
i don't mean to put myself down but i don't really view it as putting myself down because that's how i've been thinking
yeah
odd right
anyway
what's scary is that, well, hey TIME FOR MORE HARD TO FOLLOW COPY PASTE FACEBOOK CHATS:
- me: DUDE THAT SONG IS BEAUTIFUL!!! SING IT WITH ME WHEN I LEARN THE LYRICS ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
- cookie:lol sure thing bro
- cookie:
- me:
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The scary thing with me is that it is soo easy to work me up -- i feel like i CONNECT with that song i linked in cookie's convo, seriously
"Talk myself in, I talk myself out
I get all worked up then I let myself down"
ME!!! but also the last verse is cute
Oh you know it'll all turn out
And you'll make me work so we can work to work it out
And promise you kid to give so much more than I get yeah
I just haven't met you yet
And you'll make me work so we can work to work it out
And promise you kid to give so much more than I get yeah
I just haven't met you yet
what a cute right
there's also the fact that motherhen is calling this adorable and for some reason that makes me happy and well i don't want that to make me happy coz it can kinda pave way towards those feelies again esp coz i feel like in the back of my mind i will be holding onto a hope, that's just how i am with all my romantic notions and in the end i really do love the idea of things like that happening and i feel like i'm getting a bit vague
ah yes let's change back to the normal font
but anyway
going step by step and not over-thinking is probably the way to go, right? :)
so hopefully i'll be updating more soon!!! this is a new year after all, hehe. got to keep a record of my life B)
well, goodbye!!! have a beautiful day and i hope you smile lots today and tomorrow and always! smiling is good for ur face also oatmeal is love
Wednesday, 17 December 2014
entry 30
THE FORMAL:
yeah.
it was actually... amazingly enjoyable. i honestly wasn't sure what to expect at first because it'd probably be just me sitting around while other people danced and i'd just be off to the side with my friends kinda bored, but that judgement was so wrong because dude, dancing was SO FUN like if anyone out there is having a sort of dance/social party thing goin' on, i recommend you to just let your body loose and just bop to the beat, y'feel? it's so fun when you get "lost in the music" sort of thang, and it was just amazing, so many compliments were given and so many were received, this really sweet asian - we can call her mychonny - she said i was beautiful and reminded her of ariana grande and osborne said he liked my dress and disney princess becca just... /shakes head at her it was really nice she told me i danced like a rockstar and she was just adorable and spouting compliments - it was all sorts of nice feelies, the whole couple of hours.
the food was GREAT it was like this sort of... really nicely seasoned chicken??? i swear i've tasted something similar to it before at my own house but i can't say for certain - it was a tangy, sour-ish taste but a beautiful flavour man, and pita bread and tabouleh and salad and a falafel and i still have no idea what the heckiedangle those things are made of so let me just--
praise wiki
nice
it was nice.
the photos before the actual formal was awesome because it was when you first saw everyone and when you walk along with your formal battle-armour on, you feel like a champion BD seriously, you feel great because you were all prettied up for this and it's a nice feeling, dressing up, despite the fact that dress shopping has to be one of satan's favourite hobbies because it sure as hell isn't one of mine more like after i got mine; every dress store i looked at, i looked at them as though they were summoned from the seventh circle of hell (it took me hours to find a dress that i thought i liked and even after buying it, i was just dead inside from having to spend so much time doing that when i could be playing dragon age or something) and i just fled at the sight of every clothes store after that and wanted it over and done with
anyway, the photos
that was when my excitement really picked up because everyone looked so beautiful and it was like yes aWESOME!!! I GET TO SPEND MY TIME WITH ALL THESE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE!!!! IT'S GONNA BE SO FUN
and it WAS really fun, like, god, i would do it again
which i guess may be saying something because i thought i hated dances like this but this dance, this social/formal was so worth everything
and then came the after-party, which began at 11 and ended at 3 - my friends and i only stayed until 12:30
i got the award for most kawaii, and that was interesting
the ride to the after-party was pretty funny
za's mum was dropping us off and we were trying to find the location when we saw these shirtless dudes walking down the street heading towards somewhere and they were going to this house and za's mum was like hm well those boys can't be heading towards the party, i mean they're not part of your year are they
and za was just like ...... ha....ha...,,f, they are....
and we all just kinda looked at each other then and i felt this little tug of apprehension because ????? like okay then
the moment i entered the house there was that smell
alcohol, y'know? it was easy to guess there'd be alcohol but it was already so potent at the start of the party it was, well, not really surprising but yeah. my bro's part of the house (s'hard to explain but his room/computer room/toilet/lounge are located in this part of the house??) often smells like that when he has pre-drinks with his friends - just a note but my friends and i didn't drink anything, promise you that
my friends and i, after hanging around this lil tree that i was standing in front of which kept poking at my pits with its lil branches, headed towards a more secluded area - a garden - to just sit down and kinda maybe brANCH (huehue) off from the rowdy, drunk people who gathered more near the house
a few moments i remember have to do with osborne; we talked a bit near the bushes about the reports we got and stuff and that was cool and i'm kinda sure he was sober?? then we headed to the gardens and he came over with his friends and was like jesse u should mingle and i think i said something along the lines of nah man it's cool not very good at mingling but i also said something like 'too cool to hang with u soz bro' and he was like aw man my respect for u just went down jesse, i thought u were a nice funny chick but now i'm not so sure and i was like soz man i don't know what to say to that and he left and that was interesting but then i turned to my friends and kinda just furrowed my brows and was like, was he drunk?
that was possibly my first interaction with a drunk friend /nods
and then apad (we'll call him that) came over and well SUPER drunk but after a while of cautious conversation on my end, he began talking about how he regretted doing what he did and he asked me to make sure he didn't drink any more but then apologized for the serious talk and i just wanted to really reinforce how much i didn't mind talking to him even if he were drunk, but i'm not sure he got the message
anyway, i was worried for him during the party and once he asked me which way to get out of the gardens was safer - over the fence or up the stairs and we decided the stairs were safer and i offered to escort him up but he said no because he'd probs trip and take me down with him and i was just like... are... are you sure man?? like i really don't mind and he said it's okay and i just kinda pursed my lips and was like well, if you're sure... anyway, i was worried and i honestly really hope he's feeling okay right now and he's not in too much trouble
after that, random people came and went to talk to us / hang around and it was cool because i talked to a few people i never really talked to before
then, when we were leaving, osborne was like oh you guys are leaving? and we were like yeah and he was like oh and high fived me and was like it was fun dancing with u and the cookie and i was like yeah man, it was :D and it was cool
i only wish i remembered to check up on apad and say bye to him, but yeah!
the day was certainly jam-packed and a fascinating experience /nods
year 11 is on its way and iunno if i'm prepared
we'll see /wishes everyone luck in their schooling endeavours
also dragon age inquisition is heart-breaking and fantastic and wonderful and i've romanced cullen but like SOLAS.
SOLAS.
/DEEP SOBBING
SOLAS U EGG NERD I'M CRYING because his romance is so beautiful whereas cullen is the kinda typical cute kinda one?? but solas is all deep and it's V SAD and V PLOT-TWISTY AND MAN
inquisition is the best
i am a year eleven
have a beautiful day readers!!! i hope a stranger returns ur smile today or like smiles at u in a non-creepy way or like a smile... u smile... i hope u smile lots today :D
-jesse out B)
 |
| i am the asian to the right and my love is on the left |
 |
| look at these awesome shoes man i'm so happy with them |
 |
| photo-booth funtimes B) |
 |
| the formal was held at our school in the citadel and i am/was completely okay with that (i think i preferred it to the beach, where it was supposed to be held) |
it was actually... amazingly enjoyable. i honestly wasn't sure what to expect at first because it'd probably be just me sitting around while other people danced and i'd just be off to the side with my friends kinda bored, but that judgement was so wrong because dude, dancing was SO FUN like if anyone out there is having a sort of dance/social party thing goin' on, i recommend you to just let your body loose and just bop to the beat, y'feel? it's so fun when you get "lost in the music" sort of thang, and it was just amazing, so many compliments were given and so many were received, this really sweet asian - we can call her mychonny - she said i was beautiful and reminded her of ariana grande and osborne said he liked my dress and disney princess becca just... /shakes head at her it was really nice she told me i danced like a rockstar and she was just adorable and spouting compliments - it was all sorts of nice feelies, the whole couple of hours.
the food was GREAT it was like this sort of... really nicely seasoned chicken??? i swear i've tasted something similar to it before at my own house but i can't say for certain - it was a tangy, sour-ish taste but a beautiful flavour man, and pita bread and tabouleh and salad and a falafel and i still have no idea what the heckiedangle those things are made of so let me just--
Falafel (/fəˈlɑːfəl/; Arabic: فلافل, [fæˈlæːfɪl] (
)) is a deep-fried ball or patty made from ground chickpeas, fava beans, or both. Falafel is a traditional Middle Eastern food, usually served in a pita, which acts as a pocket, or wrapped in a flatbread known as lafa; "falafel" also frequently refers to a wrapped sandwich that is prepared in this way. The falafel balls are topped with salads, pickled vegetables, hot sauce, and drizzled with tahini-based sauces. Falafel balls may also be eaten alone as a snack or served as part of a meze (appetizers).
)) is a deep-fried ball or patty made from ground chickpeas, fava beans, or both. Falafel is a traditional Middle Eastern food, usually served in a pita, which acts as a pocket, or wrapped in a flatbread known as lafa; "falafel" also frequently refers to a wrapped sandwich that is prepared in this way. The falafel balls are topped with salads, pickled vegetables, hot sauce, and drizzled with tahini-based sauces. Falafel balls may also be eaten alone as a snack or served as part of a meze (appetizers).
Falafel is a common dish eaten throughout the Middle East. The fritters are now found around the world as a replacement for meat and as a form of street food.
praise wiki
nice
it was nice.
the photos before the actual formal was awesome because it was when you first saw everyone and when you walk along with your formal battle-armour on, you feel like a champion BD seriously, you feel great because you were all prettied up for this and it's a nice feeling, dressing up, despite the fact that dress shopping has to be one of satan's favourite hobbies because it sure as hell isn't one of mine more like after i got mine; every dress store i looked at, i looked at them as though they were summoned from the seventh circle of hell (it took me hours to find a dress that i thought i liked and even after buying it, i was just dead inside from having to spend so much time doing that when i could be playing dragon age or something) and i just fled at the sight of every clothes store after that and wanted it over and done with
anyway, the photos
that was when my excitement really picked up because everyone looked so beautiful and it was like yes aWESOME!!! I GET TO SPEND MY TIME WITH ALL THESE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE!!!! IT'S GONNA BE SO FUN
and it WAS really fun, like, god, i would do it again
which i guess may be saying something because i thought i hated dances like this but this dance, this social/formal was so worth everything
and then came the after-party, which began at 11 and ended at 3 - my friends and i only stayed until 12:30
i got the award for most kawaii, and that was interesting
the ride to the after-party was pretty funny
za's mum was dropping us off and we were trying to find the location when we saw these shirtless dudes walking down the street heading towards somewhere and they were going to this house and za's mum was like hm well those boys can't be heading towards the party, i mean they're not part of your year are they
and za was just like ...... ha....ha...,,f, they are....
and we all just kinda looked at each other then and i felt this little tug of apprehension because ????? like okay then
the moment i entered the house there was that smell
alcohol, y'know? it was easy to guess there'd be alcohol but it was already so potent at the start of the party it was, well, not really surprising but yeah. my bro's part of the house (s'hard to explain but his room/computer room/toilet/lounge are located in this part of the house??) often smells like that when he has pre-drinks with his friends - just a note but my friends and i didn't drink anything, promise you that
my friends and i, after hanging around this lil tree that i was standing in front of which kept poking at my pits with its lil branches, headed towards a more secluded area - a garden - to just sit down and kinda maybe brANCH (huehue) off from the rowdy, drunk people who gathered more near the house
a few moments i remember have to do with osborne; we talked a bit near the bushes about the reports we got and stuff and that was cool and i'm kinda sure he was sober?? then we headed to the gardens and he came over with his friends and was like jesse u should mingle and i think i said something along the lines of nah man it's cool not very good at mingling but i also said something like 'too cool to hang with u soz bro' and he was like aw man my respect for u just went down jesse, i thought u were a nice funny chick but now i'm not so sure and i was like soz man i don't know what to say to that and he left and that was interesting but then i turned to my friends and kinda just furrowed my brows and was like, was he drunk?
that was possibly my first interaction with a drunk friend /nods
and then apad (we'll call him that) came over and well SUPER drunk but after a while of cautious conversation on my end, he began talking about how he regretted doing what he did and he asked me to make sure he didn't drink any more but then apologized for the serious talk and i just wanted to really reinforce how much i didn't mind talking to him even if he were drunk, but i'm not sure he got the message
anyway, i was worried for him during the party and once he asked me which way to get out of the gardens was safer - over the fence or up the stairs and we decided the stairs were safer and i offered to escort him up but he said no because he'd probs trip and take me down with him and i was just like... are... are you sure man?? like i really don't mind and he said it's okay and i just kinda pursed my lips and was like well, if you're sure... anyway, i was worried and i honestly really hope he's feeling okay right now and he's not in too much trouble
after that, random people came and went to talk to us / hang around and it was cool because i talked to a few people i never really talked to before
then, when we were leaving, osborne was like oh you guys are leaving? and we were like yeah and he was like oh and high fived me and was like it was fun dancing with u and the cookie and i was like yeah man, it was :D and it was cool
i only wish i remembered to check up on apad and say bye to him, but yeah!
the day was certainly jam-packed and a fascinating experience /nods
year 11 is on its way and iunno if i'm prepared
we'll see /wishes everyone luck in their schooling endeavours
also dragon age inquisition is heart-breaking and fantastic and wonderful and i've romanced cullen but like SOLAS.
SOLAS.
/DEEP SOBBING
SOLAS U EGG NERD I'M CRYING because his romance is so beautiful whereas cullen is the kinda typical cute kinda one?? but solas is all deep and it's V SAD and V PLOT-TWISTY AND MAN
inquisition is the best
i am a year eleven
have a beautiful day readers!!! i hope a stranger returns ur smile today or like smiles at u in a non-creepy way or like a smile... u smile... i hope u smile lots today :D
-jesse out B)
Monday, 17 November 2014
entry 29
so today i realised i was proud of myself :)))) (though i'm not proud of the fact that i haVE NOT RETOLD THE STORIES OF JAPAN BECAUSE THAT WAS LIKE THE BEST WEEKS OF MY LIFE AND I HAVEN'T BOTHERED TO WRITE ABOUT THEM??? when the holiday comes i swear to god i will write about it all, i'm gonna stick a post-it note to my toilet so every time i go take a dump it's staring at me and i get uncomfortable and inclined to actually do it)
and, well, it was interesting coz this is kind of a week of stress for me. i have this science presentation to wing, a pe dance to follow up on because i didn't get to do it before japan and now my pe teacher looks at me with this meaningful look that makes me nervous, i have a maths test on wednesday and a drama script to memorise seeing as i have this kind of main role as this kid called Billie who acts like a pirate - and this is for Youth Theatre and we're gonna go performing around random primary schools in a couple of weeks, so I SHOULD really get onto those...
and also dragO NAGEG INQUSITUINTON COMES OUT IN 3 DAYS /SCREAMS. 3 days could not be any longer, I swear. it's a kind of pleasurable pain, you know? ;v; /wistful sigh. so close yet so far.
but today i found out that i got the highest mark in my class for my japanese presentation and i was really happy, hehe. it was funny because during the presentation, i panicked and paused during my speech (it was this speech about a monster you have to make up - describing the monster's personality and appearance - i came up with this rabbit thing that had lots of legs and ate children after drinking orange juice at the park - like imagine this lil cute rabbit thang popping up from behind the bushes but as the bush trembles and it begins to reveal itself you get the feeling that something is horribly wrong and BAM THE LIL BUNNY HAS A THOUSAND SPIDER LEGS/ENEMONIE (sp????) LIKE LEGS AND CHILLS RUN DOWN YOUR BACK AND SUDDENLY IT NYOOMS TOWARDS YOU WITH LIGHTNING SPEED and ur ded
yeah that was my monster
but anyway i got nervous and me and my friends were talking about nervous habits one day and she said that i had the habit of jumping around/releasing my energy in that way and i was like ye and well that's what i did like i began jumping around and going "holD ON I KNOW THIS" and everyone laughed and i was happy that people laughed and well yeah that happened
and today we were given our marks and that dude jude was like sir who got the top mark and sir was like well.. no one..... but jesse got the highest at 19.5 and za was like did she lose half a mark because she started jumping and everyone laughed again and sir was like yes that (but it was because i paused) but hehe i'm okay with that!!!!
i've also been exercising and getting better at holding my times and extending the time on the treadmill - my highest that i can recount is going at 10km 3% incline for around 7 mins non-stop? and then my highest speed is 11km but at like either 5% incline or 2% but either way, i'm proud. I can also do push ups now with relative ease and i'm very happy, i just gotta learn how to do the triangle push-up things but yeah. i'm really happy.
i haven't been updating much and partly, that's due to so many things happening at the same time but you know, even the friendly-acquaintance stories - i used to be so "CRAP I HAVE TO UPDATE!! SOMETHING HAPPENED TODAY!!!" but y'see things like this have been happening so often that i haven't had time to update and that's an interesting thing to note, i reckon, hehe. i'll see what i can do about sharing them as they pop up though!!
also SRC CAMP:
this huge wall of text is a summary, good luck to anyone who'd even wanna read it all:
------
src camp was AMAZING!!!!!
I MADE FRIENDS WITH THIS RLY CUTE ASIAN
GIRL HER NAME IS ANGELYN SHE'S LIKE MY
LIL SIS I S2G SHE
IS SO ADORABLE
and EVERYONE WAS JUST GREAT
AND IT WAS SO COOL!!
Brianna
01/11/2014 22:28
Brianna
Omg... angel
not angel
anyone but angel haha
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:29
Jesse
yeah, claire called me up yesterday at
midnight and we talked and i researched
some things and we came up with ways to
go about comforting her
whaaaat angel is so cute!
Brianna
01/11/2014 22:30
Brianna
I'm glad she has people who she can
depend on. You guys are the best haha
she's an interesting character
did you get closer to the girl reps?
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:30
Jesse
yeah, and i'm really glad everyone in the
year is so caring!
i... i think i did............ it was
really...
weird....................................
....
like at night we were all talking about
"girl stuff" you know and i was kinda
silent coz they all had their inside
jokes and i did admittedly feel kinda
like a third wheel and it was weird coz i
felt a bit more comfortable with the guys than
the girls
but
Brianna
01/11/2014 22:32
Brianna
Yeah, I see what you mean
I should have said something to squizz
asking to include you a bit more
Well at least you have made closer
friends!~
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:32
Jesse
i ended up telling them about canoe guy
and they were telling me about their
experiences and stuff and they ended up
fangirling so hard about my story and
shiz and we all ended up talking about
how my group was kinda isolated and it
was really nice because they all were so
enthusiastic about wanting the other
people in the year to get to know the
group better
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:33
Jesse
hehe oh bri-chi you are just beautiful
we did warm and fuzzies
if you were there i think i would've run
out of paper with the things i have to
say B)))))))))))))))))
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:35
Jesse
i think one of the sweetest things that
was said to me on my warm and fuzzies was
how omoiyari said he truly considered me
a mate and that he was thankful for that
i was reading it on the way home and i
teared up and then when i got home i was
like you know i still have so many things
to say, my warm and fuzzy was kinda short
so let's write a lil letter thing
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:35
Jesse
so now i have a lil letter to give
omoiyari /nods coz there was that time in
japan when he asked me to help him with
his self intro and i felt so honoured and
that one time when i was in his intro
drama class and i told him he was like my
bro but didn't expand on it so i think he
got weirded out but in my letter i
explained what i meant
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:36
Jesse
so it's all g now /nods
I AM SO READY FOR EVERYTHING
also i became the src secretary
i have to take minutes and everything and
honestly it's pretty intense
IT WAS REALLY WEIRD BRI-CHI MY SRC CAMP
EXPERIENCE IS A MESS
Brianna
01/11/2014 22:37
Brianna
Omg, they all sound so nice QQ
like a beautiful family
you guys are all really close now and
that's so good
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:38
Jesse
!!!!!! IT'S SO EXCITING I'M SO EXCITED!!!
yeah and MM tenshi and squiz was like
jesse u have to USE ur connections
Brianna
01/11/2014 22:38
Brianna
warm and fuzzies make me cry
omg, SECRETARY THOUGH
THAT'S A BIG RESPONSIBILITY
aawww, and you and omoiyari
01/11/2014 22:39
Brianna
I'm sure he'd be touched by your letter
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:39
Jesse
YEAH I KNOW
!! AND the reason i went for secretary in
the first place
was because omoiyari actually said he
thought i'd make a good secretary
Jesse Tran
01/11/2014 22:39
Jesse
and told me about it and stuff and i was
really surprised
Brianna
01/11/2014 22:40
Brianna
i'm so proud of you QQ
Such a big job
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:41
Jesse
yeah, today i spent the day compiling the
minutes and i finished and i'm happy
deputybro is my lil deputy secretary bro
he's so cool man
Brianna
01/11/2014 22:42
Brianna
omg deputybro
he's so swag
and cool
and kool
and swag
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:42
Jesse
yeah, he played the guitar
we had a karaoke night
Brianna
01/11/2014 22:42
Brianna
do you have to do that every week?
did you sing
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:43
Jesse
yeah i do
yeah i did but it was group singing B)
although the camp was this huge
conference of ideas and there was just
everything
so i think in the little meetings,
there'll be a tad less work to do
Brianna
01/11/2014 22:45
Brianna
aww, you should have gone solo
and awed everyone with your singing
skillz
did you get closer to dbunks and cbell?
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:46
Jesse
squizz was constantly hinting at it but
we all sang together anyway B)
Brianna
01/11/2014 22:46
Brianna
and did you share the 2 ply toilet paper
idea
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:46
Jesse
yeah it was so cool!! ACTUALLY CBELL
SHARED THE 2 PLY TOILET PAPER IDEA I
THINK I WAS LIKE HECKIE YEAH MAN
Brianna
01/11/2014 22:46
Brianna
OMG YASSS
FINALLY
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:46
Jesse
apparently the src have been trying to
get two ply ever since
it's just never happened and it's not a
main priority so i guess we'll see what
happens LOL
Brianna
01/11/2014 22:47
Brianna
omg yasss my dreams are coming true
:< so sad
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:47
Jesse
LOL finally, you get to wipe ur butt with
silky smoothness
dw i may be able to smuggle some 2 ply
just for u
Brianna
01/11/2014 22:47
Brianna
thanks, that would be appreciated
and maybe some scented thingos in the
toilet
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:47
Jesse
i didn't talk to dbunks much but i defs
talked to cbell more and we sat next to
each other and it was pretty funny there
were jokes
his warm and fuzzie to me was also super
nice /sob
LOL
sure
maybe some scented hand crafted soap
Brianna
01/11/2014 22:48
Brianna
made from goats milk
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:49
Jesse
I ACTUALLY HAVE SOAP MADE FROM COCONUT
AND BANANA
IT SMELLS SOOOO GOOD
-----
and yeah that should be a summary and the names are censored like usual. hopefully. omoiyari told me the letter was beautiful and it was really funny hehe. and there's more to come later, but i should get ready for school tomorrow!
bye friends, i hope smiles light up all ur pretty faces and everything good happens to you!!
ALSO I WENT TO BBALL LAST WEEK AND PLAN TO GO AGAIN THIS WEEK /SCREAMS
also i've introduced katie to oatmeal AND dragon age and she loves both /CACKLES MANIACALLY
ah, oatmeal <3
my friends ellie and claire made a bet i'd get sick of oatmeal by next year but i won't
just u guys see
B)
and, well, it was interesting coz this is kind of a week of stress for me. i have this science presentation to wing, a pe dance to follow up on because i didn't get to do it before japan and now my pe teacher looks at me with this meaningful look that makes me nervous, i have a maths test on wednesday and a drama script to memorise seeing as i have this kind of main role as this kid called Billie who acts like a pirate - and this is for Youth Theatre and we're gonna go performing around random primary schools in a couple of weeks, so I SHOULD really get onto those...
and also dragO NAGEG INQUSITUINTON COMES OUT IN 3 DAYS /SCREAMS. 3 days could not be any longer, I swear. it's a kind of pleasurable pain, you know? ;v; /wistful sigh. so close yet so far.
but today i found out that i got the highest mark in my class for my japanese presentation and i was really happy, hehe. it was funny because during the presentation, i panicked and paused during my speech (it was this speech about a monster you have to make up - describing the monster's personality and appearance - i came up with this rabbit thing that had lots of legs and ate children after drinking orange juice at the park - like imagine this lil cute rabbit thang popping up from behind the bushes but as the bush trembles and it begins to reveal itself you get the feeling that something is horribly wrong and BAM THE LIL BUNNY HAS A THOUSAND SPIDER LEGS/ENEMONIE (sp????) LIKE LEGS AND CHILLS RUN DOWN YOUR BACK AND SUDDENLY IT NYOOMS TOWARDS YOU WITH LIGHTNING SPEED and ur ded
yeah that was my monster
but anyway i got nervous and me and my friends were talking about nervous habits one day and she said that i had the habit of jumping around/releasing my energy in that way and i was like ye and well that's what i did like i began jumping around and going "holD ON I KNOW THIS" and everyone laughed and i was happy that people laughed and well yeah that happened
and today we were given our marks and that dude jude was like sir who got the top mark and sir was like well.. no one..... but jesse got the highest at 19.5 and za was like did she lose half a mark because she started jumping and everyone laughed again and sir was like yes that (but it was because i paused) but hehe i'm okay with that!!!!
i've also been exercising and getting better at holding my times and extending the time on the treadmill - my highest that i can recount is going at 10km 3% incline for around 7 mins non-stop? and then my highest speed is 11km but at like either 5% incline or 2% but either way, i'm proud. I can also do push ups now with relative ease and i'm very happy, i just gotta learn how to do the triangle push-up things but yeah. i'm really happy.
i haven't been updating much and partly, that's due to so many things happening at the same time but you know, even the friendly-acquaintance stories - i used to be so "CRAP I HAVE TO UPDATE!! SOMETHING HAPPENED TODAY!!!" but y'see things like this have been happening so often that i haven't had time to update and that's an interesting thing to note, i reckon, hehe. i'll see what i can do about sharing them as they pop up though!!
also SRC CAMP:
this huge wall of text is a summary, good luck to anyone who'd even wanna read it all:
------
src camp was AMAZING!!!!!
I MADE FRIENDS WITH THIS RLY CUTE ASIAN
GIRL HER NAME IS ANGELYN SHE'S LIKE MY
LIL SIS I S2G SHE
IS SO ADORABLE
and EVERYONE WAS JUST GREAT
AND IT WAS SO COOL!!
Brianna
01/11/2014 22:28
Brianna
Omg... angel
not angel
anyone but angel haha
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:29
Jesse
yeah, claire called me up yesterday at
midnight and we talked and i researched
some things and we came up with ways to
go about comforting her
whaaaat angel is so cute!
Brianna
01/11/2014 22:30
Brianna
I'm glad she has people who she can
depend on. You guys are the best haha
she's an interesting character
did you get closer to the girl reps?
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:30
Jesse
yeah, and i'm really glad everyone in the
year is so caring!
i... i think i did............ it was
really...
weird....................................
....
like at night we were all talking about
"girl stuff" you know and i was kinda
silent coz they all had their inside
jokes and i did admittedly feel kinda
like a third wheel and it was weird coz i
felt a bit more comfortable with the guys than
the girls
but
Brianna
01/11/2014 22:32
Brianna
Yeah, I see what you mean
I should have said something to squizz
asking to include you a bit more
Well at least you have made closer
friends!~
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:32
Jesse
i ended up telling them about canoe guy
and they were telling me about their
experiences and stuff and they ended up
fangirling so hard about my story and
shiz and we all ended up talking about
how my group was kinda isolated and it
was really nice because they all were so
enthusiastic about wanting the other
people in the year to get to know the
group better
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:33
Jesse
hehe oh bri-chi you are just beautiful
we did warm and fuzzies
if you were there i think i would've run
out of paper with the things i have to
say B)))))))))))))))))
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:35
Jesse
i think one of the sweetest things that
was said to me on my warm and fuzzies was
how omoiyari said he truly considered me
a mate and that he was thankful for that
i was reading it on the way home and i
teared up and then when i got home i was
like you know i still have so many things
to say, my warm and fuzzy was kinda short
so let's write a lil letter thing
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:35
Jesse
so now i have a lil letter to give
omoiyari /nods coz there was that time in
japan when he asked me to help him with
his self intro and i felt so honoured and
that one time when i was in his intro
drama class and i told him he was like my
bro but didn't expand on it so i think he
got weirded out but in my letter i
explained what i meant
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:36
Jesse
so it's all g now /nods
I AM SO READY FOR EVERYTHING
also i became the src secretary
i have to take minutes and everything and
honestly it's pretty intense
IT WAS REALLY WEIRD BRI-CHI MY SRC CAMP
EXPERIENCE IS A MESS
Brianna
01/11/2014 22:37
Brianna
Omg, they all sound so nice QQ
like a beautiful family
you guys are all really close now and
that's so good
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:38
Jesse
!!!!!! IT'S SO EXCITING I'M SO EXCITED!!!
yeah and MM tenshi and squiz was like
jesse u have to USE ur connections
Brianna
01/11/2014 22:38
Brianna
warm and fuzzies make me cry
omg, SECRETARY THOUGH
THAT'S A BIG RESPONSIBILITY
aawww, and you and omoiyari
01/11/2014 22:39
Brianna
I'm sure he'd be touched by your letter
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:39
Jesse
YEAH I KNOW
!! AND the reason i went for secretary in
the first place
was because omoiyari actually said he
thought i'd make a good secretary
Jesse Tran
01/11/2014 22:39
Jesse
and told me about it and stuff and i was
really surprised
Brianna
01/11/2014 22:40
Brianna
i'm so proud of you QQ
Such a big job
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:41
Jesse
yeah, today i spent the day compiling the
minutes and i finished and i'm happy
deputybro is my lil deputy secretary bro
he's so cool man
Brianna
01/11/2014 22:42
Brianna
omg deputybro
he's so swag
and cool
and kool
and swag
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:42
Jesse
yeah, he played the guitar
we had a karaoke night
Brianna
01/11/2014 22:42
Brianna
do you have to do that every week?
did you sing
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:43
Jesse
yeah i do
yeah i did but it was group singing B)
although the camp was this huge
conference of ideas and there was just
everything
so i think in the little meetings,
there'll be a tad less work to do
Brianna
01/11/2014 22:45
Brianna
aww, you should have gone solo
and awed everyone with your singing
skillz
did you get closer to dbunks and cbell?
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:46
Jesse
squizz was constantly hinting at it but
we all sang together anyway B)
Brianna
01/11/2014 22:46
Brianna
and did you share the 2 ply toilet paper
idea
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:46
Jesse
yeah it was so cool!! ACTUALLY CBELL
SHARED THE 2 PLY TOILET PAPER IDEA I
THINK I WAS LIKE HECKIE YEAH MAN
Brianna
01/11/2014 22:46
Brianna
OMG YASSS
FINALLY
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:46
Jesse
apparently the src have been trying to
get two ply ever since
it's just never happened and it's not a
main priority so i guess we'll see what
happens LOL
Brianna
01/11/2014 22:47
Brianna
omg yasss my dreams are coming true
:< so sad
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:47
Jesse
LOL finally, you get to wipe ur butt with
silky smoothness
dw i may be able to smuggle some 2 ply
just for u
Brianna
01/11/2014 22:47
Brianna
thanks, that would be appreciated
and maybe some scented thingos in the
toilet
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:47
Jesse
i didn't talk to dbunks much but i defs
talked to cbell more and we sat next to
each other and it was pretty funny there
were jokes
his warm and fuzzie to me was also super
nice /sob
LOL
sure
maybe some scented hand crafted soap
Brianna
01/11/2014 22:48
Brianna
made from goats milk
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:49
Jesse
I ACTUALLY HAVE SOAP MADE FROM COCONUT
AND BANANA
IT SMELLS SOOOO GOOD
-----
and yeah that should be a summary and the names are censored like usual. hopefully. omoiyari told me the letter was beautiful and it was really funny hehe. and there's more to come later, but i should get ready for school tomorrow!
bye friends, i hope smiles light up all ur pretty faces and everything good happens to you!!
ALSO I WENT TO BBALL LAST WEEK AND PLAN TO GO AGAIN THIS WEEK /SCREAMS
also i've introduced katie to oatmeal AND dragon age and she loves both /CACKLES MANIACALLY
ah, oatmeal <3
my friends ellie and claire made a bet i'd get sick of oatmeal by next year but i won't
just u guys see
B)
Wednesday, 7 May 2014
entry 25
so i'm starting to forget events that happened a mere week ago when the holidays hadn't yet started which is why i'm deciding to write stuff now, but who even knows when this entry will be published because i've been favouring saving things as drafts and editing with other things as the days go by
but maybe this'll be out by tonight, who knows /shimmies (i'm looking back and editing and just smiling and shaking my head because it WASN'T past jesse u suck)
anyway, hOPE ESTHEIM
like i can't even stress his prettiness
/coughs
okay i'll get to the point and just mention some little things that made my day(s) during the last week of school
...
...since i don't really know how to get into that, i'mma just continue my description of the pandas, ahem:
harrieT IS fun to banter with (/snickers because karriet, a ship with this dude i'll mention next) and she's pretty impatient, i found out at music camp, when i was telling zara and haz the story of everything and anything but it was a funny kind of impatient that makes you wanna snicker /cackles. you readers can determine that for yourself but anyway, haz/hazza is her nickname and i love harriet very much because she always offers her sandwiches to people sometimes and i'm usually the one to take it because i always forget my lunch. (that's the only reason i stick around her) she's generally a very sweet person and she always goes out of her way to do things for other people and she'll always be a beautiful person to have around. her hair is freakin' sunshine and her freckles are adorable and iunno but my friends seriously a lot of them have WONDERFUL BLUEY EYES AND IT'S BRILLIANT. she's a bit of a little sister in some ways that i kinda worry about her sometimes but she's also a little sister in that she's naturally endearing
ZARA IS ACTUALLY like she's probably the most seemingly normal out of our whole group but honestly she'll do and say some things which make you go 'wtf zara' but in the best of ways i assure you. she's an AMAZING organiser like i won't be surprised if she decided to indulge in her romantic side one day and become a wedding planner and be the best of the best wedding planners ever in the history of wedding planners. or just an awesome sort of 'planner' in general, but y'get my gist. she's beautiful, as all my friends are, and has an awesome laugh and smile to go with it - her eyes could be described as 'smiling eyes' of sorts, but i'm not quite sure how to describe it if you haven't experienced it for yourself.
oH WAIT okay i should've mentioned kai before but i'll do it now. anyway, kai! kai is such a sweetie, like, the gentlemanly type and i remember after the whole valentine fiasco where he spent five bucks getting me a rose instead of a simple gerbera like everyoen else agreed - i remember agreeing with someone, maybe ruby, that his future wife (we're going deep into the future, i know) would be very lucky because he's also hella thoughtful. he's a fun person to talk to about interesting things and he's always a welcome presence at the group even tho he usually now goes off to play magic with a bunch of his friends in the library B) he's a bold kid, and he's very much like hazza in that they're both like suns-- i guess you readers can interpret that for yourselves :D
chanse is my star trek and general fandom-ly buddy along with ellie!! i actually didn't know her that much since recently, maybe since the start of the year but when i got into star trek i found we actually connected quite a lot (fangirls always find each other somehow) and she was an interesting person to chat with. her writing is beautiful and so are her eyes and HER CHEEKS THO AND HER SMILE IS HELLA RAD AND HER HAIR IS COOL TOO but anyway it was always so refreshing to roleplay with her and just talk to her about our characters and well our feelings can be kind of similar too. feelings of well, /shrugs well you guys should be accustomed to girl feelings seeing as 24+ entries have been written about them AND dealing with them :D. she can be a bit negative sometimes but it's when the negativity is directed at herself that makes me sigh because everyone should believe in their potential a little more and i know these things are fragile and can be hard to repair but it's so true
uhm who else
i have to pee so while i'm on the toilet i'll think about who i might've forgotten brb
crap i'm back and forgot to think
okay JAMILLA ofc
jamilla is my japanese/animey/mango buddy and the only one in my group who actually gets all my references to anime and pretty much everything to do with japanese /shimmies. she's actually, personally for me, such a brightening presence and heck even her minutely 'pet jesse's hair' routine is accepted by me because she really openly shows her affection for her friends and it's adorable and because it's adorable /shuffles it's okay. y'know, if that makes sense /coughs. but anyway, she has a good heart, even though she can be hella loud /SIGH she makes days interesting and she has a way with making the interesting things she does not bothersome when you come to actually know her. which is surprising (/cackles). but she manages to connect people and she's someone you'll miss when you find she's been absent for a few days at school. when you hear her laugh you should run away because she's either found something really creepy and willing to share it to scar other people or she's just being creepy in general (so i say that but her laugh is always welcomed because it's v. sweet)--
but okay that's it
i was called a smartass today and it was a satisfying moment even though it was so little LOL
i went to my aunty's house today and my aunty has a daughter-in-law called jessica and jessica is so open and so outgoing and she's so friendly and she's one of those people who just... makes the atmosphere lighter and she's very much like the 'sun' i mentioned earlier
but anyway i was talking to her and then she like looked at me and was like
jesse does your fringe ever bother you?
and i was like just smiling amusedly because she was trying to push it out of my eyes and i was like haha why, does it bother you?
and she just took away her hand and looked at me again and then let out this huge laugh and was like
oh my god you've really grown haven't you, you're a smartass
and just hugged me and told my bro i was a smartass and my bro sighed in this teasing way and was like this is what i have to live with
like idek why i'm a smartass by just that line but hey /wiggles it was interesting and i got free chocolate bcoz easter so on that note HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE
and this'll be a short post (originally it was a draft and i was gonna lengthen it more with other stuff but another time) but i got mauled today at basketball and i was in shock for a bit and it was... interesting (i got a hip wound/knee wound/thumb wound to mark my efforts)
have a good day!
but maybe this'll be out by tonight, who knows /shimmies (i'm looking back and editing and just smiling and shaking my head because it WASN'T past jesse u suck)
anyway, hOPE ESTHEIM
like i can't even stress his prettiness
/coughs
okay i'll get to the point and just mention some little things that made my day(s) during the last week of school
...
...since i don't really know how to get into that, i'mma just continue my description of the pandas, ahem:
harrieT IS fun to banter with (/snickers because karriet, a ship with this dude i'll mention next) and she's pretty impatient, i found out at music camp, when i was telling zara and haz the story of everything and anything but it was a funny kind of impatient that makes you wanna snicker /cackles. you readers can determine that for yourself but anyway, haz/hazza is her nickname and i love harriet very much because she always offers her sandwiches to people sometimes and i'm usually the one to take it because i always forget my lunch. (that's the only reason i stick around her) she's generally a very sweet person and she always goes out of her way to do things for other people and she'll always be a beautiful person to have around. her hair is freakin' sunshine and her freckles are adorable and iunno but my friends seriously a lot of them have WONDERFUL BLUEY EYES AND IT'S BRILLIANT. she's a bit of a little sister in some ways that i kinda worry about her sometimes but she's also a little sister in that she's naturally endearing
ZARA IS ACTUALLY like she's probably the most seemingly normal out of our whole group but honestly she'll do and say some things which make you go 'wtf zara' but in the best of ways i assure you. she's an AMAZING organiser like i won't be surprised if she decided to indulge in her romantic side one day and become a wedding planner and be the best of the best wedding planners ever in the history of wedding planners. or just an awesome sort of 'planner' in general, but y'get my gist. she's beautiful, as all my friends are, and has an awesome laugh and smile to go with it - her eyes could be described as 'smiling eyes' of sorts, but i'm not quite sure how to describe it if you haven't experienced it for yourself.
oH WAIT okay i should've mentioned kai before but i'll do it now. anyway, kai! kai is such a sweetie, like, the gentlemanly type and i remember after the whole valentine fiasco where he spent five bucks getting me a rose instead of a simple gerbera like everyoen else agreed - i remember agreeing with someone, maybe ruby, that his future wife (we're going deep into the future, i know) would be very lucky because he's also hella thoughtful. he's a fun person to talk to about interesting things and he's always a welcome presence at the group even tho he usually now goes off to play magic with a bunch of his friends in the library B) he's a bold kid, and he's very much like hazza in that they're both like suns-- i guess you readers can interpret that for yourselves :D
chanse is my star trek and general fandom-ly buddy along with ellie!! i actually didn't know her that much since recently, maybe since the start of the year but when i got into star trek i found we actually connected quite a lot (fangirls always find each other somehow) and she was an interesting person to chat with. her writing is beautiful and so are her eyes and HER CHEEKS THO AND HER SMILE IS HELLA RAD AND HER HAIR IS COOL TOO but anyway it was always so refreshing to roleplay with her and just talk to her about our characters and well our feelings can be kind of similar too. feelings of well, /shrugs well you guys should be accustomed to girl feelings seeing as 24+ entries have been written about them AND dealing with them :D. she can be a bit negative sometimes but it's when the negativity is directed at herself that makes me sigh because everyone should believe in their potential a little more and i know these things are fragile and can be hard to repair but it's so true
uhm who else
i have to pee so while i'm on the toilet i'll think about who i might've forgotten brb
crap i'm back and forgot to think
okay JAMILLA ofc
jamilla is my japanese/animey/mango buddy and the only one in my group who actually gets all my references to anime and pretty much everything to do with japanese /shimmies. she's actually, personally for me, such a brightening presence and heck even her minutely 'pet jesse's hair' routine is accepted by me because she really openly shows her affection for her friends and it's adorable and because it's adorable /shuffles it's okay. y'know, if that makes sense /coughs. but anyway, she has a good heart, even though she can be hella loud /SIGH she makes days interesting and she has a way with making the interesting things she does not bothersome when you come to actually know her. which is surprising (/cackles). but she manages to connect people and she's someone you'll miss when you find she's been absent for a few days at school. when you hear her laugh you should run away because she's either found something really creepy and willing to share it to scar other people or she's just being creepy in general (so i say that but her laugh is always welcomed because it's v. sweet)--
but okay that's it
i was called a smartass today and it was a satisfying moment even though it was so little LOL
i went to my aunty's house today and my aunty has a daughter-in-law called jessica and jessica is so open and so outgoing and she's so friendly and she's one of those people who just... makes the atmosphere lighter and she's very much like the 'sun' i mentioned earlier
but anyway i was talking to her and then she like looked at me and was like
jesse does your fringe ever bother you?
and i was like just smiling amusedly because she was trying to push it out of my eyes and i was like haha why, does it bother you?
and she just took away her hand and looked at me again and then let out this huge laugh and was like
oh my god you've really grown haven't you, you're a smartass
and just hugged me and told my bro i was a smartass and my bro sighed in this teasing way and was like this is what i have to live with
like idek why i'm a smartass by just that line but hey /wiggles it was interesting and i got free chocolate bcoz easter so on that note HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE
and this'll be a short post (originally it was a draft and i was gonna lengthen it more with other stuff but another time) but i got mauled today at basketball and i was in shock for a bit and it was... interesting (i got a hip wound/knee wound/thumb wound to mark my efforts)
have a good day!
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