entry 29

so today i realised i was proud of myself :)))) (though i'm not proud of the fact that i haVE NOT RETOLD THE STORIES OF JAPAN BECAUSE THAT WAS LIKE THE BEST WEEKS OF MY LIFE AND I HAVEN'T BOTHERED TO WRITE ABOUT THEM??? when the holiday comes i swear to god i will write about it all, i'm gonna stick a post-it note to my toilet so every time i go take a dump it's staring at me and i get uncomfortable and inclined to actually do it)

and, well, it was interesting coz this is kind of a week of stress for me. i have this science presentation to wing, a pe dance to follow up on because i didn't get to do it before japan and now my pe teacher looks at me with this meaningful look that makes me nervous, i have a maths test on wednesday and a drama script to memorise seeing as i have this kind of main role as this kid called Billie who acts like a pirate - and this is for Youth Theatre and we're gonna go performing around random primary schools in a couple of weeks, so I SHOULD really get onto those...

and also dragO NAGEG INQUSITUINTON COMES OUT IN 3 DAYS /SCREAMS. 3 days could not be any longer, I swear. it's a kind of pleasurable pain, you know? ;v; /wistful sigh. so close yet so far.

but today i found out that i got the highest mark in my class for my japanese presentation and i was really happy, hehe. it was funny because during the presentation, i panicked and paused during my speech (it was this speech about a monster you have to make up - describing the monster's personality and appearance - i came up with this rabbit thing that had lots of legs and ate children after drinking orange juice at the park - like imagine this lil cute rabbit thang popping up from behind the bushes but as the bush trembles and it begins to reveal itself you get the feeling that something is horribly wrong and BAM THE LIL BUNNY HAS A THOUSAND SPIDER LEGS/ENEMONIE (sp????) LIKE LEGS AND CHILLS RUN DOWN YOUR BACK AND SUDDENLY IT NYOOMS TOWARDS YOU WITH LIGHTNING SPEED and ur ded

yeah that was my monster

but anyway i got nervous and me and my friends were talking about nervous habits one day and she said that i had the habit of jumping around/releasing my energy in that way and i was like ye and well that's what i did like i began jumping around and going "holD ON I KNOW THIS" and everyone laughed and i was happy that people laughed and well yeah that happened

and today we were given our marks and that dude jude was like sir who got the top mark and sir was like well.. no one..... but jesse got the highest at 19.5 and za was like did she lose half a mark because she started jumping and everyone laughed again and sir was like yes that (but it was because i paused) but hehe i'm okay with that!!!!

i've also been exercising and getting better at holding my times and extending the time on the treadmill - my highest that i can recount is going at 10km 3% incline for around 7 mins non-stop? and then my highest speed is 11km but at like either 5% incline or 2% but either way, i'm proud. I can also do push ups now with relative ease and i'm very happy, i just gotta learn how to do the triangle push-up things but yeah. i'm really happy.

i haven't been updating much and partly, that's due to so many things happening at the same time but you know, even the friendly-acquaintance stories - i used to be so "CRAP I HAVE TO UPDATE!! SOMETHING HAPPENED TODAY!!!" but y'see things like this have been happening so often that i haven't had time to update and that's an interesting thing to note, i reckon, hehe. i'll see what i can do about sharing them as they pop up though!!

also SRC CAMP:

this huge wall of text is a summary, good luck to anyone who'd even wanna read it all:

------

src camp was AMAZING!!!!!
I MADE FRIENDS WITH THIS RLY CUTE ASIAN

GIRL HER NAME IS ANGELYN SHE'S LIKE MY

LIL SIS I S2G SHE
IS SO ADORABLE
and EVERYONE WAS JUST GREAT
AND IT WAS SO COOL!!
Brianna
01/11/2014 22:28
Brianna
Omg... angel
not angel
anyone but angel haha
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:29
Jesse
yeah, claire called me up yesterday at

midnight and we talked and i researched

some things and we came up with ways to

go about comforting her
whaaaat angel is so cute!
Brianna
01/11/2014 22:30
Brianna
I'm glad she has people who she can

depend on. You guys are the best haha
she's an interesting character
did you get closer to the girl reps?
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:30
Jesse
yeah, and i'm really glad everyone in the

year is so caring!
i... i think i did............ it was

really...

weird....................................

....
like at night we were all talking about

"girl stuff" you know and i was kinda

silent coz they all had their inside

jokes and i did admittedly feel kinda

like a third wheel and it was weird coz i

felt a bit more comfortable with the guys than

the girls
but
Brianna
01/11/2014 22:32
Brianna
Yeah, I see what you mean
I should have said something to squizz

asking to include you a bit more
Well at least you have made closer

friends!~
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:32
Jesse
i ended up telling them about canoe guy

and they were telling me about their

experiences and stuff and they ended up

fangirling so hard about my story and

shiz and we all ended up talking about

how my group was kinda isolated and it

was really nice because they all were so

enthusiastic about wanting the other

people in the year to get to know the

group better
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:33
Jesse
hehe oh bri-chi you are just beautiful
we did warm and fuzzies
if you were there i think i would've run

out of paper with the things i have to

say B)))))))))))))))))
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:35
Jesse
i think one of the sweetest things that

was said to me on my warm and fuzzies was

how omoiyari said he truly considered me

a mate and that he was thankful for that

i was reading it on the way home and i

teared up and then when i got home i was

like you know i still have so many things

to say, my warm and fuzzy was kinda short

so let's write a lil letter thing
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:35
Jesse
so now i have a lil letter to give

omoiyari /nods coz there was that time in

japan when he asked me to help him with

his self intro and i felt so honoured and

that one time when i was in his intro

drama class and i told him he was like my

bro but didn't expand on it so i think he

got weirded out but in my letter i

explained what i meant
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:36
Jesse
so it's all g now /nods
I AM SO READY FOR EVERYTHING
also i became the src secretary
i have to take minutes and everything and

honestly it's pretty intense
IT WAS REALLY WEIRD BRI-CHI MY SRC CAMP

EXPERIENCE IS A MESS
Brianna
01/11/2014 22:37
Brianna
Omg, they all sound so nice QQ
like a beautiful family
you guys are all really close now and

that's so good
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:38
Jesse
!!!!!! IT'S SO EXCITING I'M SO EXCITED!!!
yeah and MM tenshi and squiz was like

jesse u have to USE ur connections
Brianna
01/11/2014 22:38
Brianna
warm and fuzzies make me cry
omg, SECRETARY THOUGH
THAT'S A BIG RESPONSIBILITY
aawww, and you and omoiyari
01/11/2014 22:39
Brianna
I'm sure he'd be touched by your letter
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:39
Jesse
YEAH I KNOW
!! AND the reason i went for secretary in

the first place
was because omoiyari actually said he

thought i'd make a good secretary
Jesse Tran
01/11/2014 22:39
Jesse
and told me about it and stuff and i was
really surprised
Brianna
01/11/2014 22:40
Brianna
i'm so proud of you QQ
Such a big job
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:41
Jesse
yeah, today i spent the day compiling the

minutes and i finished and i'm happy
deputybro is my lil deputy secretary bro

he's so cool man
Brianna
01/11/2014 22:42
Brianna
omg deputybro
he's so swag
and cool
and kool
and swag
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:42
Jesse
yeah, he played the guitar
we had a karaoke night
Brianna
01/11/2014 22:42
Brianna
do you have to do that every week?
did you sing
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:43
Jesse
yeah i do
yeah i did but it was group singing B)
although the camp was this huge

conference of ideas and there was just

everything
so i think in the little meetings,

there'll be a tad less work to do
Brianna
01/11/2014 22:45
Brianna
aww, you should have gone solo
and awed everyone with your singing

skillz
did you get closer to dbunks and cbell?
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:46
Jesse
squizz was constantly hinting at it but

we all sang together anyway B)
Brianna
01/11/2014 22:46
Brianna
and did you share the 2 ply toilet paper

idea
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:46
Jesse
yeah it was so cool!! ACTUALLY CBELL

SHARED THE 2 PLY TOILET PAPER IDEA I

THINK I WAS LIKE HECKIE YEAH MAN
Brianna
01/11/2014 22:46
Brianna
OMG YASSS
FINALLY
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:46
Jesse
apparently the src have been trying to

get two ply ever since
it's just never happened and it's not a

main priority so i guess we'll see what

happens LOL
Brianna
01/11/2014 22:47
Brianna
omg yasss my dreams are coming true
:< so sad
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:47
Jesse
LOL finally, you get to wipe ur butt with

silky smoothness
dw i may be able to smuggle some 2 ply

just for u
Brianna
01/11/2014 22:47
Brianna
thanks, that would be appreciated
and maybe some scented thingos in the

toilet
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:47
Jesse
i didn't talk to dbunks much but i defs

talked to cbell more and we sat next to

each other and it was pretty funny there

were jokes
his warm and fuzzie to me was also super

nice /sob
LOL
sure
maybe some scented hand crafted soap
Brianna
01/11/2014 22:48
Brianna
made from goats milk
Jesse
01/11/2014 22:49
Jesse
I ACTUALLY HAVE SOAP MADE FROM COCONUT

AND BANANA
IT SMELLS SOOOO GOOD

-----

and yeah that should be a summary and the names are censored like usual. hopefully. omoiyari told me the letter was beautiful and it was really funny hehe. and there's more to come later, but i should get ready for school tomorrow!

bye friends, i hope smiles light up all ur pretty faces and everything good happens to you!!

ALSO I WENT TO BBALL LAST WEEK AND PLAN TO GO AGAIN THIS WEEK /SCREAMS

also i've introduced katie to oatmeal AND dragon age and she loves both /CACKLES MANIACALLY

ah, oatmeal <3

my friends ellie and claire made a bet i'd get sick of oatmeal by next year but i won't

just u guys see

B)

entry 25

so i'm starting to forget events that happened a mere week ago when the holidays hadn't yet started which is why i'm deciding to write stuff now, but who even knows when this entry will be published because i've been favouring saving things as drafts and editing with other things as the days go by

but maybe this'll be out by tonight, who knows /shimmies (i'm looking back and editing and just smiling and shaking my head because it WASN'T past jesse u suck)

anyway, hOPE ESTHEIM

like i can't even stress his prettiness

/coughs

okay i'll get to the point and just mention some little things that made my day(s) during the last week of school

...

...since i don't really know how to get into that, i'mma just continue my description of the pandas, ahem:

harrieT IS fun to banter with (/snickers because karriet, a ship with this dude i'll mention next) and she's pretty impatient, i found out at music camp, when i was telling zara and haz the story of everything and anything but it was a funny kind of impatient that makes you wanna snicker /cackles. you readers can determine that for yourself but anyway, haz/hazza is her nickname and i love harriet very much because she always offers her sandwiches to people sometimes and i'm usually the one to take it because i always forget my lunch. (that's the only reason i stick around her) she's generally a very sweet person and she always goes out of her way to do things for other people and she'll always be a beautiful person to have around. her hair is freakin' sunshine and her freckles are adorable and iunno but my friends seriously a lot of them have WONDERFUL BLUEY EYES AND IT'S BRILLIANT. she's a bit of a little sister in some ways that i kinda worry about her sometimes but she's also a little sister in that she's naturally endearing

ZARA IS ACTUALLY like she's probably the most seemingly normal out of our whole group but honestly she'll do and say some things which make you go 'wtf zara' but in the best of ways i assure you. she's an AMAZING organiser like i won't be surprised if she decided to indulge in her romantic side one day and become a wedding planner and be the best of the best wedding planners ever in the history of wedding planners. or just an awesome sort of 'planner' in general, but y'get my gist. she's beautiful, as all my friends are, and has an awesome laugh and smile to go with it - her eyes could be described as 'smiling eyes' of sorts, but i'm not quite sure how to describe it if you haven't experienced it for yourself.

oH WAIT okay i should've mentioned kai before but i'll do it now. anyway, kai! kai is such a sweetie, like, the gentlemanly type and i remember after the whole valentine fiasco where he spent five bucks getting me a rose instead of a simple gerbera like everyoen else agreed - i remember agreeing with someone, maybe ruby, that his future wife (we're going deep into the future, i know) would be very lucky because he's also hella thoughtful. he's a fun person to talk to about interesting things and he's always a welcome presence at the group even tho he usually now goes off to play magic with a bunch of his friends in the library B) he's a bold kid, and he's very much like hazza in that they're both like suns-- i guess you readers can interpret that for yourselves :D

chanse is my star trek and general fandom-ly buddy along with ellie!! i actually didn't know her that much since recently, maybe since the start of the year but when i got into star trek i found we actually connected quite a lot (fangirls always find each other somehow) and she was an interesting person to chat with. her writing is beautiful and so are her eyes and HER CHEEKS THO AND HER SMILE IS HELLA RAD AND HER HAIR IS COOL TOO but anyway it was always so refreshing to roleplay with her and just talk to her about our characters and well our feelings can be kind of similar too. feelings of well, /shrugs well you guys should be accustomed to girl feelings seeing as 24+ entries have been written about them AND dealing with them :D. she can be a bit negative sometimes but it's when the negativity is directed at herself that makes me sigh because everyone should believe in their potential a little more and i know these things are fragile and can be hard to repair but it's so true

uhm who else

i have to pee so while i'm on the toilet i'll think about who i might've forgotten brb

crap i'm back and forgot to think

okay JAMILLA ofc

jamilla is my japanese/animey/mango buddy and the only one in my group who actually gets all my references to anime and pretty much everything to do with japanese /shimmies. she's actually, personally for me, such a brightening presence and heck even her minutely 'pet jesse's hair' routine is accepted by me because she really openly shows her affection for her friends and it's adorable and because it's adorable /shuffles it's okay.  y'know, if that makes sense /coughs. but anyway, she has a good heart, even though she can be hella loud /SIGH she makes days interesting and she has a way with making the interesting things she does not bothersome when you come to actually know her. which is surprising (/cackles). but she manages to connect people and she's someone you'll miss when you find she's been absent for a few days at school. when you hear her laugh you should run away because she's either found something really creepy and willing to share it to scar other people or she's just being creepy in general (so i say that but her laugh is always welcomed because it's v. sweet)--

but okay that's it

i was called a smartass today and it was a satisfying moment even though it was so little LOL

i went to my aunty's house today and my aunty has a daughter-in-law called jessica and jessica is so open and so outgoing and she's so friendly and she's one of those people who just... makes the atmosphere lighter and she's very much like the 'sun' i mentioned earlier

but anyway i was talking to her and then she like looked at me and was like

jesse does your fringe ever bother you?

and i was like just smiling amusedly because she was trying to push it out of my eyes and i was like haha why, does it bother you?

and she just took away her hand and looked at me again and then let out this huge laugh and was like

oh my god you've really grown haven't you, you're a smartass

and just hugged me and told my bro i was a smartass and my bro sighed in this teasing way and was like this is what i have to live with

like idek why i'm a smartass by just that line but hey /wiggles it was interesting and i got free chocolate bcoz easter so on that note HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE

and this'll be a short post (originally it was a draft and i was gonna lengthen it more with other stuff but another time) but i got mauled today at basketball and i was in shock for a bit and it was... interesting (i got a hip wound/knee wound/thumb wound to mark my efforts)

have a good day!

entry 21

26/2

maths was my first class today--

BUT WAIT I FORGOT TO SAY SOMETHING about when i got back from bush school it's really little but basically noir was sitting across from me on the bus and on the bus ride home she was like hey jesse

and i was like oh, yeah?

and she replied you're like my role model now, you have such a good voice

and i kind of embarrassedly replied with a thank you

but i was really happy

and later as we were getting off the bus, i went up to her and was like hey noir! and she was like yeah? and basically i just told her that she was inspirational as well and she laughed and was like how so? and i was like well, you talk to a lot of people and you make it seem really easy and she laughed again and hugged me and told me i was cute

but i really meant it

noir talks to a lot of people with ease and it's so cool because she's a genuinely nice person and i kind of aspire to be like her

but anyway

maths was my first class today and i came in and sat down and was waiting for claire: maths buddy to show up and class had already started when the teacher was like HEY (what should i call the dude i guess i'll call him jude because jude is a cool name) jUDE SIT OVER HERE BECAUSE UR DISRUPTING THE CLASS

and she pointed to the empty seat beside me

and i was like o...h

and then he came up and sat next to me was kinda like 'sup as he sat down and i kind of nodded and smiled a bit

but when claire entered the classroom

i swear to god maybe it wasn't telepathic but i locked eyes with her and deep within me there was a horrified whisper of 'no' because she was left alone and i was also kind of left alone to fend for myself because i've never really talked to jude because he's well, also that type of far away person y'know?

so we stayed hella silent for a long time

when i got up to this question

and it was horrible but i could do it but at the same time i was stuck on one part of it

and i knew that jude had nearly finished the worksheet because he asked the teacher for help on question ten when i was still on question six (sob)

so after a LONG while of hesitating on whether or not to ask him but i knew i should because talking is a good thing and talking to new people is a beautiful thing

i was like

hey... jude

and he turned to me

and i was like, do you know how to do this question?

and he was like oh

and helped me out with it

and i kind of got it but kind of didn't but it gave me hints on how to do it

and i was like thank you

but really softly and that was accidentally and he kind of just nodded and went back to his work

but then i found out the formula and was like oh!! thank you! again and he made this noise of acknowledgement

uh

it was a very short interaction but i felt proud of myself for having the guts but then one thing that i've noticed since the first time i saw him was that he is also a pretty dude

and so after class ended

he was walking out

and by the time i got up i'd already made up my mind because there was this one thing and hey, i'll post a picture here:

yeah.

/laughs nervously.

that's what was motivating me and so i went up to him and was like yo jude

and he was like ?? yeah..?

and i was like you're very pretty

and then slowly

he smiled

and god smiles are so beautiful

and in an amused tone, he said thank you.

so yeah.

i just thought people think about other people so much and passing thoughts would be 'wow how pretty' but they're never told for some reason even though they'd make the other person feel fab so i guess i was like hey why don't i just say this because smiles are wonderful

so yeah i did.

science today was also really fun.

reBECCA IS THE SASS MASTER I SWEAR TO GOD BUT SHE's SO FABULOUS OMFG

like okay

this was just one thing but she was getting the equipment for an experiment and the teacher was like bending over and talking to this student and she was trying to get past him

and i noticed that and she was just standing there really awkwardly and then i started laughing

and she made eye contact with me and then scrunched her face up and shook her head

buT IT WAS SO FUNNY LIKE THE TEACHER'S BUTT WAS IN HER WAY AND SHE HAD THIS EXPRESSION OF 'fml' AND

yeah

it was hilarious and then she came up to me and was like no jesse stop laughing

but i laughed even harder

and yeah

science was fun

and a tad

odd i guess

i think people stole canoe guy and his friend's seat so they sat behind me and my friends and canoe guy was right behind me and i felt like i wanted to talk to him so much but i... yeah. and i heard him banter and y'know

just hearing him with a smile in his voice is nice

urgh i'm so weird

but also i was talking about wings with claire today

long story short i saw this tumblr post about what people'd be like with wings in everyday life

and i started to draw wings

wings for canoe guy, ariana, cinekha, will, heck, even soul

and these wings

mean a lot because they personify the person and i give them wings which i think suit them and describe them

claire-bear asked me to describe her senpai's wings which was damn adorable and so i did and apparently i made her almost cry bUT TEARS OF TOUCHED-NESS AND IT WAS GR8

she said it was a beautiful talent i had and how it was amazing i could think it up on spot

and that was a really

like... impacting compliment haha

i guess it's because i'm a writer that it was so impacting but it was also because i'm a writer that i could think up something like a person's wings on spot but i guess it's also because i think about things a hella lot and more than i should probably and that's why it's easy for me to try and see a person's view and use that perspective to further explain things

it's really weird because somehow these wings have become precious to me in such a short time and i feel like i want to tell people what they're wings would be--

because if everyone really did have wings it'd be hard not to fall in love with each and every individual because of the simple but unique beauty every pair holds

but y'know everyone holds a uniqueness to themselves even without wings, so i guess that's okay

but with wings it'd be more apparent

more prominent

easier to recognise that our bodies are something to be loved and not shamed

and it's very sad and odd because it's ourselves who do the shaming

but

anyway

one thing that's been plaguing my mind is that i want to tell canoe guy about his wings, hah

i'll give you guys a very bad quality picture:

edit: digital version

they'd angle in towards the small of his back but the tips wouldn't meet unlike cinekha's (you can spot hers in the top right) and his wings would be medium-sized and y'know i don't think they'd be that extravagant compared to ariana's or will's which are next to canoe guy's in the left but the left wing hasn't been drawn for will but

the tips of his wings - the bone that folds; the two apexes - they'd look pointy because of his feathers (his wings would be a mixture of feathers and fluff and they'd look fairly neat but they're actually pretty messy but not very noticeably so) but they really aren't

if you touched them they'd be rounded and strong and if you ran your hand down the joint it'd be smooth and maybe a tiny bit angular, but surprisingly supportive if that makes sense

lol i'm

ugh

i'm

ugh

anyway

his wings would be a colour several shades darker than tumeric but that'd only be in some random patches and his wing base colour would mostly be a light caramel

yeah

OH AND I WENT TO BASKETBALL TODAY

AND although we didn't win, we did really well i reckon!! my friend's mum (zara's mum) was laughing and joking and made a remark about how i was getting in there and stealing the ball off the tall people and that was funny and actually really nice hehe, since my parents don't come to watch because they're busy it's a really nice feeling to be... recognized... i guess? but it was so nice of her!! my hair was really sweaty afterwards and i felt proud because it was like my hard work and effort transformed into a palpable form which was the sweat kekeke and i told my brother this fact and he was like ew don't sweat on my carseat and i sighed and shook my head and sweat probably flew at him then but he just didn't understand

brothers, what can you do.

anywaaay

i better mark the date (yesterday i was continuing writing this post at night when i was told to go to bed so--) 27/2

mkay... so today (thursday)!

after school i had this convo with this dude called josh in the year below me and josh is pretty damn awesome - we've been kind of friendly acquaintances and i say hi to him whenever i see him and he also went to my primary school

i found it so easy to talk to him and he offered me a piece of gum and that was hella rad

then i had to leave

but we talked about fishing and swimming and i made him laugh a couple of times and i've mentioned this so many times bUT MAKING A PERSON LAUGH OR SMILE IS SO COOL

also

canoe guy passed by where i sat today and i don't know who waved first but we both smiled and waved at each other and.. /hides that was nice

um

on another note i've been saying hello to different people and i'm happy for that haha

ye

this is entry 21 and i have a lot of homework to do /sob

i hope you guys are having a beautiful time wherever any of you are and reminder to sit up straight and drink water because it's v. good for you!!

/dances away

entry 10

so my friend confessed to her senpai today.

she's really brave. wonderfully brave. she got rejected, but... i think it's awesome how she went and did that. she's such a cutie. she says that she just wants to get to know him a hella lot more and that's really wonderful so in these short words i'm wishing her amazing luck because if anything, when you fall into the liking trap and come out crawling all battered and broken it's like nOPE COME AT ME MOFO BECAUSE I'M NOT LEAVING WITHOUT A REWARD kind of thing but i guess not all things happen like that. at the very least, i'm really cheering for her. wish her good luck, any invisible readers of mine.

also, i don't think i mentioned that on the monday after that friday when canoe guy did the thing (in reference to the last post), that i was waiting for my teacher to come to class and it was in the hallways and he passed by but when he did we met eyes and he nodded to me and smiled and dear lord that was a really, really nice feeling /deep sigh and i smiled and nodded back and that made my damn day and i am pretty scared of that. i'm scared of the little things that's been making me happy and the little things that make me so insecure and scared it's just--- it's just really... different and scary and i don't like it because, well, canoe guy and shy girl don't mix.

seriously right now i'm so done with this big ball of feels because jfc why is life when people can think about you so much and you wouldn't even know--?

so this stage is called 'puppy love' i'm pretty sure /nodnod. luckily it'll pass and i'll be free yo.

because right now i'm noticing the smallest of things like when he smiles and then bam happiness hits you like a llama spits on you and then he talks to a girl and i guess it's some weird kind of jealousy where it's a sudden reminder that i'm not adequate, kind of thing. teenager insecurities, what can i say? it makes me want to talk to him more and funny because i know the basic outline of his personality but because i do i just imagine ''future'' conversations with the dude and try to start conversations but end up hesitating and it just makes me want to get to know him so much more because he genuinely seems like a good person and a good friend and i just--

/flips table. my imagination is great as a writer but it'll be my downfall as a victim of puppy love.

my friend got me thinking though - if i'd ever confess to this canoe guy and my answer to that is yes because i think, liking someone is such a beautiful thing (loving someone is even more beautiful) and that because i'm such a romantic i would want them to know. a confession of mine would probably be really weird because i'd be fangirling to them about themselves-- yeah.

iunno, at least it'd make their day?

goddayum i have no idea. i just think it's worth the victim of the liking knowing. i just don't want it to get so blown up because these things do and it's pretty stupid.

so in the meantime, i'm... pretty happy with myself because i've been talking to more people. one of my friends, claire, is really awesome. me and her really unite as shy people and that's super spiffy, huehue. i'm glad because we talked about the victims of our life recently and i expressed the what i practically wrote above and how i was done with liking this guy because i say hi and stuff but i'm just pondering about the point, and what she said was that if someone said hi to you often, they'd seem more approachable and i kind of got knocked out of that train of thought because i remembered one of the most awesome quotes of all time 'a simple hello can lead to a million things'. i really feel for her though because she's liked this guy for two years and she confessed to him about two years ago and he rejected her-- but she still liked him and she said she'd confess to him for the final time around this yea. that's really good for her because i think, if she just lets him know then not only would he be awkward but he'd be happy and flattered  - i can bet you he will - but she might be able to get over him no matter how hard that is and she'd be satisfied if she knew that the fact she liked him made his day, because i think it'd make anyone's day, having a cutie confess to you.

sometimes i get these moods where i'm really up myself and just like 'yeah u know what canoe guy, you're lucky i like you' but then i'm like 'okay no you're not because there's probably other popular and beautiful girls out there who like you as well so... yeah my feelings aren't that special probably' /sigh. being a teenager is weird.

i went to the gym on thursday (it's friday today) and then i went to squash with my bro and i was already feeling tired because of basketball on wednesday but then today i went rollerskating and holy crepes everything hurts it's not even funny like my butt feels like it'll combust sometime if i tense it or if i'm trying to take a dump so yeah. life. well i guess it's a good feeling but it's not because y'know how you feel good but exhausted after exercising? well this is like 3x the exhaustion bit.

also, i'm auditioning for the illawarra performing ensemble! it's... gonna be nerve-wracking but i hope i do well. i have to practice. it's on the 15th of december, so yeah, i have some time.

also recently i released a ladybug into the wild and it was gr8 ((so inspirational wow)).

so friends, this is entry 10!

have a wonderful day because everyone deserves a day full of smiles and all that jazz. reminder to sit up straight darlings.

entry 8

so we're moving back to our old seats next monday. /sigh. i also have a test on that day. i'm definitely not looking forward to next week, especially because i have to perform this thing on tuesday in drama. it's about a puppet, a puppeteer and a free doll. it's puntacular yo /snickers.

seriously there's like some lines we thought up saying 'well get your act together' or 'i'll help you, no strings attached' or 'better start russian (because the free doll is russian)' and lots more.

i got back from basketball just then.

it's really the best feeling when you get score a hoop (even though this time i didn't -- but i stole the ball from a girl ahh and it was awesome) and i'm super embarassing because when we score a goal i let out this woop of joy and it's usually really loud and squeaky /hides.

there's my friend kate and she's SUPER GOOD at basketball so she's like my role model huehuehue i have to take tips from her

so after basketball i went shopping with my mum and we went to this section in woolworths where they sell all types of meat and cheese and olives and such and basically you have to get a number to line up (sometimes, if there's not many people there you don't have to) but today my mum was gonna buy some cheese so she just stopped in front of these bunch of people to take a number and she was just standing there for a while and because i was following her i was like to her-

'mUM' and she was like 'yis dearie???'

and i was like 'we're kinda like blocking the way'

and she was like 'wut'

so in this kind of 'so done with u' voice i was like 'we'RE BLOCKING THE WAY'

and she was like 'OH'

BUT THE BOY BEHIND US

THE BOY BEHIND US

I HEARD HIM LAUGH AND IT WAS

it was really cute

made my day
kind of
iunno, making some random laugh
that's darn awesome
the fact he was pretty damn cute was a bonus

also today i did this thing at school, making rice paper rolls. it was fun. i saw canoe guy in the class we were kinda interrupting. i... wanted to say hi to him but i failed like i have been for many days. i feel like i want to talk to him but ugh, i don't know. i feel like...


/sighs.

yeah.

i'm just going to...

/sigh.

this is entry 8. have an awesome day, readers (if there are any).