entry 4

so recently i've been getting into the star trek series, due to the two newest movies, 09 and 13. Chris Pine is definitely one sexy mofo just saiyan'. i even made a rp blog (just-following-orders) and it's so unbelievably fun.

did i tell you guys about the maths seating plan?

i don't think so...

well, let me tell you about it then.

basically, maybe a term ago our teacher decided to put the class into a seating plan because everyone was being too noisy with the people they already were with and i got paired up with this guy called adam. he's uh, he's one of those popular-ish guys and he's friends with the canoe guy. did i tell you the story of canoe guy? omg i have to tell lots of stories, don't i, aha. well i might say it later but for now, canoe guy is my used-to-be/maybe crush.

at first i was thinking: oh this'll be alright this guy seems okay, i can make friends with him!

the first time he sat next to me it was okay. at least, i think it was. he was just laughing randomly and i didn't question why though i did jokingly ask him if he was alright, to which he laughed and said yes, and stuff.

the next time he came into class and sat next to a popular girl and i was like well okay, but then the teacher told him to go back to his seat and he kind of groaned and sat next to me again.

the third time he entered class with his friend and as he walked to his seat he joked with his friend about 'getting in with the asian chick' and that was probably the point where i was like yeah... no... - i wasn't sure if i really wanted to make friends with this guy. i talked to him a bit but then the next lesson the jokes about 'getting in' with me got worse so i decided not to talk to him at all.

i felt as if because i was the 'quiet, shy' girl, if i talked to a guy suddenly they'd suspect something and get all cocky, so... yeah. i've become a bit apprehensive when talking to guys now.

the fourth or fifth time i sat next to him, well, he was okay. the jokes stopped and even though he has a tendency of looking over my work (aND MAKING ME ANXIOUS like seriously he's really good at maths and i'm okay and i swear he judges me based on my answers) he's alright. he helped me once and i was like oh...? thank you.

so he's okay. i'm just, a bit, maybe scared of him? intimidated? i don't know the right word but i don't think he likes me aha.

then we had to change classrooms.

at first it was okay because we were allowed to sit next to our friends again but then guess what.

...

you probably guessed right.

another seating plan was put into order and this time it was another guy called will, who i had once lent a calculator to (i pride myself on that fact yo). will's cool. he's like the class clown but he's nice, so this time i'm a tad happier where i am ehe.

i find it cool because although i'm not amazing at maths i'm good enough, and will is okay at it so basically i can help him and these last two lessons i've been helping him so that's pretty awesome - it makes me feel as if I've done something good LOL. it's so awesome because i was kind of just copying questions down and we were sharing textbooks and he asked if i had done question f, which i hadn't. and basically he told me what you had to do and i was like well okay thanks i think and he was like no worries i felt like i needed to show off to you and i was like well... thank you again. and he seems really nice so i wouldn't mind getting to know him more! /puts on victory headband I FEEL AS IF I'M MAKING FRIEND AND IT's GLORIOUS GUYS.

recently though, when it's coming to other people i've been a bit hesitant for some reason.

y'know canoe guy? well, y'know how i went up to him and said all that stuff about him being cool and asking him if he didn't mind me talking to him?

well it's been two weeks and i haven't talked to him at all because i've been too scared /deep sigh.

i know that it's supposed to be a two-way thing like; there's supposed to be some reciprocation but what reason does he have to talk to me? i'm just that shy girl who's happened to gain random bursts of courage and then cowardliness. yeah, i have no idea how this is gonna work out but sometimes i just get random sparks of bleh and i just go to my friend ruby 'man i am the awkwardest person you'll ever meet' and she always questions why and i tell her a bit but never go too into detail, but i think she understands.

halloween is coming up.

i hope you guys have a good one! c:

thanks for reading, this is entry number 4.

have a happiness-filled day friends!