entry 9

so turns out we moved seats on friday /sobs. iunno since that was the last lesson i was planning to be all like 'you were a good seating plan partner' or SOMETHING LIKE THAT OKAY DON'T JUDGE ASDFG but yeah. i had to sit next to that guy again and ehhh, he's... he's okay but i'mma just say this one more time (have i ever said it before?): i swear he judges me and how i answer my questions because i suck at maths and it just so happens that he does not.

i'm a bit of an idiot.

y'know i thought i was over canoe guy.

but then there's those times where i keep seeing him around school and whenever i do there's these times where i just pause and for some reason there's this deep breath and oh god i'm getting all cheesy jfc-

/sigh.

so then i decided i should say hi to him whenever i see him.

there was this time when he was walking in front of me and i kind of just clutched my laptop bag and i was about to call out his name but then his friends - those popular/renowned as 'jerks' guys came up and were all like 'yOOO' so i became a hella lot more hesitant so i didn't end up saying anything and just went my way, past them.

and then every other time i just got really... anxious and scared -- i don't know why, but i did. so i didn't really say anything to him those times.

but a few days ago!

on friday (it's sunday now), at the end of school we have the same class - english - together and y'see, he walks the way i walk. i was walking with my friend amy and we kind of talked a bit but i think i was too distracted (for some reason) to really listen to what she was saying (i'm sorry /sobs) but all i wanted was to just say hello to him because i hadn't before and it was odd because he was in front of us right, but he was always looking back for some reason? and i kind of met his eyes a couple of times but just looked away because i am quite the awkward turtle- but anyway, i kind of parted from amy (I AM SERIOUSLY THE WORST PERSON EVER) because of this mini crowd of people and i caught up to canoe guy and called out his name -

and he tilted his head really cutely UGH and i was like 'see ya!' and he grinned oh god what a dork and it was such a cute smile like what are you doing no don't do that ughghghgh but basically he was like 'bye' and i nodded and i was about to turn around and then he said 'have a good weekend' and SDFGHJKL I DID NOT EXPECT THAT SO I KINDA JUST PERKED UP AND WAS LIKE 'yoU TOO' ASDFGHJ

/deep sigh

but honestly it made my day and it really sucks.

man i feel like i'm turning this blog into a huge ball of cheese.

anyway.

have a good day cuties! reminder to sit up straight, this is entry 9 yo.