INFJ Descriptionhell yeah!!
how long has it been since i last posted? two months yeah? LOTS HAS HAPPENED IN THOSE TWO MONTHS.
well, to me. nothing REALLY big in my life, but just... awesome things. for example, dragon age: inquisition. I AM SO PUMPED. IN THE TIME I'VE BEEN AWAY, I'VE BEEN GETTING OBSESSED WITH GAMES: E.G DRAGON AGE, MASS EFFECT AND i'm crying DRAGON AGE ASUNDER - which is a novel stemming from the Dragon Age world/gaming franchise - IS SO DAMN GOOD here have one of my favourite parts:
"Is that what I do? Torment you?"
Haunted eyes. "Yes. No."
Rhys reached up to touch Cole, to reassure him, but the young man only scrambled farther up the sarcophagus. "Leave me alone," he muttered, although it didn't sound convincing.
"Is that what you really want me to do?"
"Cole, come with me (etc, Rhys begins to talk about Cole/more dragon age stuff)"
"Don't you want help?" he asked.
"I don't want anyone to hurt me." Cole was a grown man, but this was the frightened plea of a child. Rhys stood there for a long time, staring helplessly up at him.
"You could leave, you know. You don't have to stay in the tower like I do."
"Where would I go?
Rhys didn't have a good answer for that. Nowhere. Anywhere but here. If I were you I would walk pat those templars, leave the tower, and go somewhere they could never find me. But he wasn't Cole. The young man avoided the upper floors of the tower because people frightened him. The city outside the tower was an impossibility, so terrifying in its chaos that he probably couldn't even imagine it. And what sort of life would that be, watching a world bursting full of excitement in which you could only be a spectator?
Cole is my child and i'll always be so sad for him. Rhys and Cole will forever be my brotp /decisive nod.
and i even made a tumblr for DA/ME: unto-starfang.
okay, so, straying from that topic...
my birthday, right, that's what i have to cover.
i felt really loved. like, it was just a huge realisation of how much i adored my friends and how much i felt special that day, whiiich is okay to say because it was my birthday party B)
the snacks were hella rad and we watched the Conjuring. lemme tell you, everyone screamed and i just laughed. when the scenes started to crescendo into actual horror i began smiling and joy glanced at me and was like, "jesse omg your face right now is terrifying" and i was just like "heh,,heHEhe YES GOOD LET THE TERROR BEGIN" and it was AMAZING. too bad COOKIE and HAZZA missed out on it B(
hm so let me freshen you guys up on the deets:
there is a new principal at my school, katie has almost gotten a boyfie: a boy who she ACTUALLY tried to set up with me so that is one amusing twist of fate, HELL yeah claire u go girl, bri i'm crying forever because OTP, i've maDE FURTHER FRIENDS WITH this girl let's call her cinnamon coz i heard her being called that today at leadership training and jamilla has previously stated that she is a girl who is the equivalent to me but in another group, and we get along pretty well hehe, also, here's what i sent to a cookie:
"as u can tell i've gotten over canoe guy, it's funny coz i'm grateful to him but also i'm apprehensive of him for no reason now, maybe apprehensive is too caustic a word but in science the other day he popped up behind me when me and claire were measuring some stuff and i kind of realised this and moved to the other side away from him without realising and i'm pretty sure he noticed it and then i noticed it and we made weird eye contact and i was just thinking i am SO sorry for putting you into this position man"
and that pretty much sums up my *love life* wow, right now :D
i'm happy where i am and i'm glad i can say that.
/many days go past
KATIE HAS A BOYFRIEND AND SHE KISSED HIM AND SHE TOLD ME ABOUT IT AND IT WAS SO CUTE AND WHEN SHE DESCRIBED IT I WAS SOBBING BECAUSE seriously she described it just as if it were fanfiction and i'm so happy for her
AND SORRY BUT ALSO KURAGEHIME IS REALLY GOOD I SHIP TSUKIMI AND KURANOSUKE SO DAMN HARD
but also i got an exchange student and she became a very close sister of mine in the span of 10 days
and FISH SHOULD JUST NOT
you guys should know who fish is, just go back in the 'canoe guy' tags and /shudders UGH
also I'M MAKING FRIENDS!!!
i'll tell you lil stories and then get to the big ones, i guess /nods
in youth theatre (i think i've mentioned it before but just to refresh people: it's a class where you form a play and then go around performing it to little kids in primary schools), we've been getting into little groups for a major project which is to appropriate a disney song and perform it for the class. there are 3 - 4 people per group and basically, there's an uneven amount of friends in this class. so, ellie, ruby and i were separated into a three and we needed one more person - and there were people away that day so a person called... let's call him harry osborne from amazing spiderman because he looks like that actor - so osborne here right, he was put into our group and at the very beginning i had this prominent feeling of dread crawling through me because not only would we be separating him from his friends, he'd have to do the thing with us and it's a HUGE project. and to do well on this project, you have to work together really well. so-- you'll see what i'm about to talk about --that was my main motivation.
the first lesson we had together it was extremely awkward jesus christ; we were deciding the roles we were going to play and we asked osborne what he'd like to be, and he replied in this offhand tone: "oh i don't really mind, i'll do whatever" - maybe offhand isn't the correct word to describe it, but it was really nonchalant and i was like ah.. i see... and my friends and i just exchanged these glances and i'm pretty sure we all thought 'this is going to be difficult' because when you do a thing like that, it doesn't leave much room for conversation, or actually help the decision-making process and you don't want to make the person do anything they don't want to do but too afraid to say they don't - feel me?
we left the class that lesson and i was just groaning away because i had no idea how this was going to work out and could only hope the ice broke.
next lesson, we were forced outside because the HSC trials were on inside our usual classroom.
it was fairly awkward this time around. and by fairly awkward, i mean, still pretty damn awkward. after figuring out some stuff, talking briefly to osborne and distracting ourself with small talk (while osborne sat on the sidelines, looking longingly off into the distance [from my own observation, ofc]), the final ten minutes soon appeared and we were all sitting in silence. during the tiny conversations earlier, i'd been smiling awkwardly in the terse pauses because of how uncomfortable we all were, and i think osborne saw me doing that because he had this awkward-ish smile on as well /shudders.
spurring from a conversation from a previous friend (as i said, i was groaning away about how sdfghj it was and just hhhhggghh), i turned to osborne and said: "SoooOOOoooo, how's _______?" and this _______ is his girlfriend and that might've made things all the more awkward for him because his eyes were wide and his mouth hung and this sound came out from him: "Uhh..."
hurriedly, i waved my hands around and began talking about how i knew his girlfriend because of friends (which were friends with him) to try and justify my question but honestly it was spur of the moment and i was trying to get him to talk more and feel comfortable - i guess it didn't help because my other friends were having this bout of small-talk and i was just looking between them and osborne and cringing because it wasn't really a good sign.
anyway, he laughed awkwardly and said "She's good," and i don't even know if they're still together but i hope they are (they're adorable and i have this kind of thing for interracial couples, don't even ask man it's just really cute not that other couples aren't cute but sorry if this offends anyone or if it does something because i just-) because otherwise that'd be SUPER awkward.
what was good was that he actually started talking more after that and i felt happy. i honestly didn't feel that flustered when i asked that question because i expected that kind of reply - and when he said 'she's good', my other friends started laughing and were like 'wow jesse, way to break the ice' and one cracked a joke - the polar bear one, as an example and he laughed and we began talking about our project a bit more and it was rad.
the next lesson, shoko (my lovely exchange student//sister from japan) was with me in YTH and i came in a bit late, so when i got there, ruby and ellie were standing around for a bit and we met up with osborne (who had been talking to this guy i ship with ellie - let's call him SN) and we were going to sit down, before i suggested that we should sit on the other side of the room. ellie asked why and i was like, iunno man we just should - the reason was because SN was on that side and osborne is friends with him so i thought if our groups were sitting a bit closer together, it'd be good for osborne because maybe it'd ease the tension for him a bit, to be near a friend.
in the beginning of the period, i spent my time entertaining shoko and her friends by explaining what my group was doing and i also gave her some ideas on how to spend the lesson - i showed shoko panic at the disco and she liked their music so i gave her my ipod so she could show the music to her friends. i also gave her my script so she could look at that and ellie allowed them to listen to the song on her phone. after that, they went to their own devices (shoko told me they were translating the panic at the disco song, ballad of mona lisa). then, ellie assigned costume design and make-up to osborne and i and we worked on that for a bit. ruby and ellie worked on the stage design. that was okay, it was a short-ish lesson and although it was still a bit tense, things were better.
the next lesson, however! we went outside to practice the actual scene and jesus that was actually so fun! it was nice because osborne began contributing stuff and more jokes were made and it's nice talking to him, he's a hella cool dude and it's super fun because we all get along!! :D i think, in this lesson roles were assigned and osborne was ed, ruby was banzai, scar was ellie and i became shenzi - anyway, in a small moment of silence, i said to osborne, "so, you're okay with being ed?" and he was like "oh y-" but i grinned and said, "or did ellie and ruby kind of just assign ed to you?" and he cracked a grin and laughed and was like "yeah, pretty much," and i laughed as well and in my head i was like 'dw i feel u brother'. it's winter in australia now and it's insanely cold, and osborne didn't have his jacket so i reminded him to bring his jacket for next time and he was like yeah that DOES sound like a good idea.
and then the next lesson was hella rad too omg though i came into the class and straight away, the teacher (as i'm told) was like: 'oooooh yeah lol so today i'm gonna film 30 seconds of a scene so u better be ready' and we practiced for that and that great, we got stuff done! the thing about drama is that you really need to let go if you want to actually embody a character - especially ones with strong personalities and quirks, so i hope i can get that right in the future, but it was funny because osborne's ed and he has to do this weird laugh and one of the first times he did this extra weird laugh and i began laughing and we were all laughing and it was sick (or siq, i'm told, which is how the cool kids spell it).
the second recent lesson was a really short lesson where we had to block out the other scenes of our song and i was given some a few tips from the parkour master osborne and more jokes were made and i'm sure if i'd written this earlier, my memory would be fresh and i'd be able to describe things truer than how i'm currently describing them, but near the end of the lesson i accidentally brought a stick in (previously used as a flimsy paperweight) and i was like oh crap osborne can you throw this out for me and he did and i was like thanks dude ur platinum.
so we had a double lesson to do stuff and we were mostly just rehearsing but i commented on a few things and it was cool coz we laughed and after that, i suggested some ideas to ellie and she was looking dubious because we didn't have much time, but i kept saying it was just something small that we could put in-- and then osborne backed me up and was like 'no yeah that's a good idea, it'll add characterisation' and i was like o.o because he said what i wanted to say and i was like ayyyye!!! and i held out my hand and we high fived and it made this really clear sound and he was like that was a good high five and i was like hELL YEAH
so, today, ruby mentioned something about how weird it is that in some classes you talk to people you never really knew before but then after them you never talk again and admittedly that made me a bit sad, hehe
also i've been saying 'good job' after our drama lessons as a way to say goodbye because we didn't really acknowledge each other at at the end, we just kind of... went our separate ways and it was like 'well okay' and you know how friends say bye to each other after the period ends and we all go home or go to lunch or just separate? yeah, well i've been doing that because that way it feels more like we're all friends.
obviously, i'd love to become friends with him!
also, in japanese the other day, i was away on an excursion with the other hosts (hosting japanese exchange students) and i came back to class and all the people away were assigned to people who were there that day, and i got assigned to this dude, we'll call him AP because initials. he was a really good teacher! and he was actually really easy to talk to, we laughed a few times and i'd also love to get to know him as well. tbh i can't remember that much as it was quite a few weeks ago.
so about my exchange student!!
it was really nice. it seriously felt like i had a sister for 10 days - a twin sister, although maybe the fact that she had the same birthday as i do and the same interests and favourite anime (though she liked seafood and i really don't /shudders) had something to do with it. the first day was a tad awkward but after i taught her the words for butt and fart, it was amazing and my family loved her - we had amazing dinners everyday and my dad approved of her because she ate seafood.
i remember one time, everyone was eating prawns (i had chicken) and shoko didn't know how to peel them as it was her first time ever having them, so my dad shook his head and peeled a few prawns for her but gave her his as he peeled them - and that's really something, because my dad never does that for anyone except me coz i'm his daughter and all - but he doesn't even do that for my bro when he's struggling and it was a very nice gesture and after that i was like: i'm proud of ya dad B)
we played cluedo on one of the days and SHE SMASHED US ALL AND also my bro, my cousin and i were all impressed because she picked up on the game really quickly and understood the instructions - shoko was so eager to learn and bright and easy to talk to - anyway, she won on the first round and it was intense. don't be tricked by innocent-looking people, lemme tell u.
my family keeps asking, "do you miss her jesse?" and like, yeah, of course i do - her presence was nice and all - but not in the way that 'aw pleaaaasse come back i miss u so much ;;', more like... i'm very happy to have had the experience with you and you're my sis now y'know? so i just hope lots of good things happen to you and you finish watching kuragehime and you sharpen up your cluedo skills coz next time we meet i'm so gonna beat you B) u WON'T FOOL ME WITH UR TRICKERY SHOKO
it was nice preparing recess and lunch for her, and having green tea with her every morning and exercising everyday omg it was so funny because we were doing some ab work and shoko was struggling and my cousin said something funny and we all started laughing and it was hard to breathe
the first day she met my dad, all he said was: if u don't want to sleep in a room with jesse, jesse can sleep in a car outside
and she looked to me for an explanation
and i looked at dad, all deadpan and said: dad no
and he cackled.
on the last night, we spent how many hours talking about random things (girl talk tbh) and she told me lots about her life in japan and i told her some stories and we laughed a lot. my mum actually referred to both of us as her daughters and also my dad referred to shoko as his adopted daughter when he told me to make tea for her. when shoko and i were talking, she brought up how i call my brother 'bro' and asked me to call her 'sis' and that just about melted my heart right then and there, my face was pretty much this: ;; also pretty sure my bro had this lil crush on her because she was so cute (when she caught her first fish her face did that thing where it lit up and she had this habit of clapping when things excited her and she was adorable).
also i finished the japanese diary cover for japan (did i ever mention that i was given that job?)!!
well, regardless, this happened:
there was this whole thing with the front cover (the second image) and what you're seeing right now is the second version of the actual front cover that jamilla drew. basically, yesterday during SRC NOMINATIONS (i'll tell u about that soon, jesus there's so much to cover) - my jap teacher pulled me out of the meeting. he faced me and said, "okay, jesse, there's been a problem."
REALLY HESITANTLY, i replied, "alright... what... is it?"
he paced for a few moments, and then sat down.
and explained stuff about jamilla's cover and how the company to create the diaries messaged him and said 'are you sure you want to put this on the front cover? it's a bit messy' - and by messy, i mean, firstly - jamilla drew the cover in pencil and there were pencil markings. secondly, there was a torn corner.
so, sir said: "[the head languages teacher] and i were thinking that maybe you could pull 11 chibis from the back cover (31 people are going to japan) and put it on the front cover and just write, really quickly in some fancy font, 'japanese study tour'?"
frowning, i thought for a bit, before suggesting, "maybe you should talk to jamilla first..."
and he agreed, so he pulled jamilla out too and we talked for a bit.
he explained the same thing to jamilla and at one point, i suggested that maybe if jam had the drawing, i could scan it and fix it up on my computer but she shook her head and said that wasn't possible because it was still with the company. so then i said maybe she could come over my house in the next few days to draw it on my computer so it'd be blemish free but that wasn't possible because it had to be due in immediately the next day.
it was incredibly obvious that jamilla was disappointed. all the while, i'd been thinking: wow this must suck so bad for jamilla - to have all that effort go to nothing AND have her partner take over and take all the credit.
i was angry, to be completely honest.
and anyway, jamilla had to go on her bus so she said goodbye and that 'it couldn't be helped' and my teacher asked if it was okay with me to do it, so of course i said yes.
but then i had an idea.
as soon as i got home, i tried calling jamilla and it took an hour later for her to actually pick-up and when she did, i said to her: "jam, get on facebook right now. i have an idea."
so, she got on facebook and i told her the idea. i was going to do the chibi thing on the front page BUT i would try to copy her exact drawing and put it in the front cover as well - so it'd be her design still. i wanted to capture the essence of the artwork she drew.
her reaction was just... it made me really happy!! because she was so happy and she asked me if i was sure i wanted to do it for her and i was like dude, we're partners til the end. and she said she was actually crying and i was just like omg jamilla shhhh it's okay you're my motivation for this i can't really do this without you so /shimmyshrug genki o dashite yo senpai
but yeah. it was really draining - it took three hours - but it was worth it to see her happy.
and today she presented me with these:
and hey, i'm not complaining that much because free stuff B) but i was a bit unsure of whether to accept the notepad or not because she didn't need to give me anything (i'm love cards!!) but apparently it was her parent's idea so that's okay i guess
but honestly, i am so done with drawing right now.
this summarises my feelings towards it, and i will say goodbye with this because i can't seem to write stuff underneath it /deep sighing.
I HAVE TO teLL YOU ABOUT THE SRC THING
so src nominations it's THAT time of the year again friends and trust me when i say i'm not as dramatic as i was last year (in fact i'm cringing at how much of a big deal it was and how much i took not getting the position to heart). i was talking to ruby about it last night and she said this: "it's good to cringe at your past self, it's how you know you've improved" and it's a nice message so there.
for my src speech this year, guess what i did /wiggles eyebrows
I SAID A PICK-UP LINE.
well, aimed at everyone.
i was thinking about it last-minute at lunch and here's how it went:
"so.. on a scale of one to ten, you're all nines and i'm the one you need," -insert cheesy gesture towards self and grin-
and it was pretty cool even though i'm a huge ball of cliche. i SERIOUSLY FORGOT TO ADD A TUMBLR DISCLAIMER LIKE NO I AM NOT THAT ORIGINAL I DID NOT MAKE THAT PICK-UP LINE but yeah. after that i said, "no really though, i'd love this opportunity to get to know all of you and i'd love to hear you id--ideas." (i stuttered /sigh).
it was cool!
and this time i know for a fact i won't be sad if i don't get the position (it's a huge responsibility tbh and i don't know if i'll be able to handle it but i'll certainly try if i do get it) because everyone who nominated that day were very worthy and it was so hard choose who to vote for
i'm very happy with how i am now.
in pe we got a bunch of.... wow, i'm actually so not finished, let me take another photo of it:
you know the gist.
or well, yeah, nevermind dudes.
for one person, i wrote 'you have great legs' (along with other things of course), and he actually ended up sitting next to me in class as a coincidence and he began talking about how it was such a great thing to write and he read it out (i said he was actually a really nice *right after this i wrote, 'well, when you want to be' and funny dude) and said that the leg thing didn't even sound bad, it sounded like someone wrote it nicely and zara was just nudging me in the side going jesse u wrote that right and i was like well yeah i wrote a lot of things to a lot of people and this is the same guy who came up to me at bush school - the renowned 'jerk' type dude who complimented my group on how we sang royals - and for sake of anonymity (though you'll find his name if you go back to entry 19) i'll call him ham - but anyway, ham looked at my writing and i looked at him and i was like yeah i wrote that and he smiled and was like thank you so much and i was like no probs bro
this comes into play later, but okay
during the SRC thing MY COOKIE OF A FRIEND BRIANNA I'M CRYING SHE LEANED OVER AND SAID SHE VOTED FOR ME AND I WAS SERIOUSLY STUNNED FOR A MOMENT MY MOUTH WAS HANGING BECAUSE BRI IS SUCH A COOKIE YOU KNOW?? AND I WAS SO SURPRISED and i think i almost teared up but i also felt really happy and touched and it was like wow, bri-chi voted for me?? it just made me really happy i'll probs define the src nominations by that moment (and in that moment i swear we were infinte), because all i could say was 'briiiiiiiiii' and she mimicked me and i was like ;; i miss you so much come hug me please
and well, there goes my ego look at it fly B) thank u bri-chi u sure know how to fluff one's pillows
but also today in pe, ham looked at me and was like jesse i voted for you because you said i had great legs a few days ago and i was like oh my god LOL thank you dude and he was like no problem
that is all i can say
and i'll leave you with this!! because i can't seem to write anything underneath it. B(
see ya friends, and i hope you're as happy as i am right now. be safe!
me after drawing for 3 hours straight: